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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 106973" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Witz, </p><p></p><p>I am amazed with L. Simply amazed. She's on her own, she's thinking ahead (room mate thing) and she talks to M (not so surprising) but what is; is the fact that SHE called YOU and asked for your opinion regarding the severity of M's problems. Maybe for a moment she had thought about having him room with her and the others? Then thought better of it. THAT has got to be a feather in both your caps. And for M to hear him say that hanging out with the alcoholic friends wasn't the best for him? Huh HUH? Pretty amazing to this Auntie. It's small - but it's a realization of what isn't good for him. I pray for a day when Dude says "Well I should not do that because it isn't a good idea." 17 years & I still get "Wow I guess that was a bad idea huh?" (dong, dong, dong) </p><p></p><p>I don't think you are jaded either. I think you've done what you've had to do in order to survive. Your M like my Dude will never come to light on another branch in my house. While it's sad there has to be SOME happiness in knowing that you won't allow that person to wreck havoc on your physical and mental space. I think they all get to rent a little space in our heads from time to time - but once you put a kid out and shut the door? I think it starts a healing process, 3 steps forward, 2 back, one to the side, turn - no......that's the hustle. But you get what I'm saying? </p><p></p><p>As far as your family? WOooooooo :whew: I guess my thought (because I've been there done that) was when you are out of the picture who will the new goat be? Who gets to be the Jonah once you are not at their emotional beck and call? WHO is it that will be sheering black wool off their arms for the sake of being this families black sheep? If you know - maybe you could tell her/him to prepare. Because it sounds to me like you're ready to sheer YOUR wool. Yes sir, yes sir, 3 bags full. I've seen this in my family, in families of guys I dated, and it never ceases to amaze me once the Pariah is gone; whomever the self-appointed hierarchy goes after next. If you've ever watched a Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom special about Hyenah's it's incredibly bizarre how close their behaviors mimic humans. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad you aren't a hyenah! DId you know though that they have the strongest jaw pressure of any land mammal? Something about jaws/families - don't know where I was going with this but something will bite and hang on about it. </p><p></p><p>Listen - YOU have a gift. It makes you unique, it defines who you are and if your family can't appreciate it - then sorry for them. My Mom is blunt and doesn't mince words. If you ask her what is on her mind you are going to hear it. So if you don't want to know - better off not to <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> foot around and ask for a super, duper, rainbow, kittens, and lollipops explanation of what you think you wanted to hear. She just shoots from both barrels - a lot like you. And when you are trying to wade through family <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> decades old? I'd bring the canon - </p><p></p><p>Mostly I'm sorry that your family can't appreciate you for who you are. You're a wonderful, clever, caring, straight-forward, loving friend to us...and well after this many years it's not "I know this girl who...." it's - I have a friend who has two kids a boy and a girl L&M and she's done this and that - and you know, I like saying that. I like having you for a friend, cyber or otherwise...</p><p></p><p>SO this year - maybe you start some New Traditions too. I'm certainly having a Felix the cat kind of year - I dig any further into my bag of tricks and I'm going to fall in. </p><p></p><p>I know your families rejection hurts - just know out here in space somewhere is someone who likes you just the way you are. And you tell your family that THIS FAMILY that you belong to couldn't hold a candle to them and their dysfunction and there's like I dunno 4500 of us - THAT should put some coal in their stocking! </p><p>HA</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 106973, member: 4964"] Witz, I am amazed with L. Simply amazed. She's on her own, she's thinking ahead (room mate thing) and she talks to M (not so surprising) but what is; is the fact that SHE called YOU and asked for your opinion regarding the severity of M's problems. Maybe for a moment she had thought about having him room with her and the others? Then thought better of it. THAT has got to be a feather in both your caps. And for M to hear him say that hanging out with the alcoholic friends wasn't the best for him? Huh HUH? Pretty amazing to this Auntie. It's small - but it's a realization of what isn't good for him. I pray for a day when Dude says "Well I should not do that because it isn't a good idea." 17 years & I still get "Wow I guess that was a bad idea huh?" (dong, dong, dong) I don't think you are jaded either. I think you've done what you've had to do in order to survive. Your M like my Dude will never come to light on another branch in my house. While it's sad there has to be SOME happiness in knowing that you won't allow that person to wreck havoc on your physical and mental space. I think they all get to rent a little space in our heads from time to time - but once you put a kid out and shut the door? I think it starts a healing process, 3 steps forward, 2 back, one to the side, turn - no......that's the hustle. But you get what I'm saying? As far as your family? WOooooooo [img]:whew:[/img] I guess my thought (because I've been there done that) was when you are out of the picture who will the new goat be? Who gets to be the Jonah once you are not at their emotional beck and call? WHO is it that will be sheering black wool off their arms for the sake of being this families black sheep? If you know - maybe you could tell her/him to prepare. Because it sounds to me like you're ready to sheer YOUR wool. Yes sir, yes sir, 3 bags full. I've seen this in my family, in families of guys I dated, and it never ceases to amaze me once the Pariah is gone; whomever the self-appointed hierarchy goes after next. If you've ever watched a Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom special about Hyenah's it's incredibly bizarre how close their behaviors mimic humans. I'm glad you aren't a hyenah! DId you know though that they have the strongest jaw pressure of any land mammal? Something about jaws/families - don't know where I was going with this but something will bite and hang on about it. Listen - YOU have a gift. It makes you unique, it defines who you are and if your family can't appreciate it - then sorry for them. My Mom is blunt and doesn't mince words. If you ask her what is on her mind you are going to hear it. So if you don't want to know - better off not to :censored: foot around and ask for a super, duper, rainbow, kittens, and lollipops explanation of what you think you wanted to hear. She just shoots from both barrels - a lot like you. And when you are trying to wade through family :censored: decades old? I'd bring the canon - Mostly I'm sorry that your family can't appreciate you for who you are. You're a wonderful, clever, caring, straight-forward, loving friend to us...and well after this many years it's not "I know this girl who...." it's - I have a friend who has two kids a boy and a girl L&M and she's done this and that - and you know, I like saying that. I like having you for a friend, cyber or otherwise... SO this year - maybe you start some New Traditions too. I'm certainly having a Felix the cat kind of year - I dig any further into my bag of tricks and I'm going to fall in. I know your families rejection hurts - just know out here in space somewhere is someone who likes you just the way you are. And you tell your family that THIS FAMILY that you belong to couldn't hold a candle to them and their dysfunction and there's like I dunno 4500 of us - THAT should put some coal in their stocking! HA Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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