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Update on wife and detachment
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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 181574" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>Once again, no sooner do I post an update than the situation changes. difficult child called last night and <em><strong>boy am I proud of how wife handled it!</strong></em></p><p><em><strong></strong></em></p><p>difficult child tried to elicit sympathy for her situation a couple of times but wife wasn't buying. difficult child told her she's been staying with some woman, doing meth and crack, and that this woman is about to have her kids taken away by the state. She said that was a "big wakeup call" for her. wife said, "What do you mean, 'wakeup call'? You had <em>your</em> child taken away, the only difference is you knew who she was going to, and that she'd be well cared for and loved; and that didn't wake you up." So difficult child admitted that, then started to tell wife what she is "going to do" about getting into treatment again. wife told her to call us when she's in treatment. difficult child said she wanted to talk to "her little girl" and wife said no, not while she is out and using, that she was being selfish and not considering how it would affect easy child 1.</p><p></p><p>If she had been planning to ask for money or groceries or a motel room or some such, she thought better of it by the end of the call. I guess she realized that the money well has dried up good this time.</p><p></p><p>This is a completely different wife from four weeks ago when she was still trying to "help" difficult child! The "wakeup call" seems to have been for wife and me, not difficult child.</p><p></p><p>We did tell easy child 1 that "J" (using difficult child's first name, not "mommy" or "your mother") was alive and safe (we did not add, "for now") but still not getting help for her problem. wife wants to keep everything open and aboveboard with easy child 1, and I agree. In later years difficult child won't be able to lie to easy child 1 and blame us for her absences. She may try, but easy child 1 will know the truth.</p><p></p><p>I hope we do hear from difficult child that she is back in some kind of treatment, but honestly, I don't expect it any time soon. Her psychiatrist told her she needs to be at a rehab far away from anyone she knows for a long time, much more than the 2 months she stayed at the last one. He recommended a place about 2 1/2 hours away. That would be great if it happens but right now I'm like DammitJanet: whatever happens, happens. Out of my hands.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 181574, member: 3485"] Once again, no sooner do I post an update than the situation changes. difficult child called last night and [I][B]boy am I proud of how wife handled it! [/B][/I] difficult child tried to elicit sympathy for her situation a couple of times but wife wasn't buying. difficult child told her she's been staying with some woman, doing meth and crack, and that this woman is about to have her kids taken away by the state. She said that was a "big wakeup call" for her. wife said, "What do you mean, 'wakeup call'? You had [I]your[/I] child taken away, the only difference is you knew who she was going to, and that she'd be well cared for and loved; and that didn't wake you up." So difficult child admitted that, then started to tell wife what she is "going to do" about getting into treatment again. wife told her to call us when she's in treatment. difficult child said she wanted to talk to "her little girl" and wife said no, not while she is out and using, that she was being selfish and not considering how it would affect easy child 1. If she had been planning to ask for money or groceries or a motel room or some such, she thought better of it by the end of the call. I guess she realized that the money well has dried up good this time. This is a completely different wife from four weeks ago when she was still trying to "help" difficult child! The "wakeup call" seems to have been for wife and me, not difficult child. We did tell easy child 1 that "J" (using difficult child's first name, not "mommy" or "your mother") was alive and safe (we did not add, "for now") but still not getting help for her problem. wife wants to keep everything open and aboveboard with easy child 1, and I agree. In later years difficult child won't be able to lie to easy child 1 and blame us for her absences. She may try, but easy child 1 will know the truth. I hope we do hear from difficult child that she is back in some kind of treatment, but honestly, I don't expect it any time soon. Her psychiatrist told her she needs to be at a rehab far away from anyone she knows for a long time, much more than the 2 months she stayed at the last one. He recommended a place about 2 1/2 hours away. That would be great if it happens but right now I'm like DammitJanet: whatever happens, happens. Out of my hands. [/QUOTE]
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