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Update re. internet, shopping, misc.
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 345253" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Oh- I almost forgot one of the most important things that difficult child revealed during this- albeit unknowingly. He was explaining the steps he has to take in order to get thru the release process and that includes telling people (counselors/ staff) what his charges were, how they happened and his plan to keep from getting to that point again. He said he tells them about the brush fire and other stuff that got him on the suspended sentence a few years ago but tries to avoid the topic of the assualt on me that actually caused his suspension to be revoked and resulted in incarceration. He said it's too hard to talk about and when they ask him directly, he tells them we were arguing because he was trying to get cigs from me. He said he can't bring himself to tell anyone what he actually did. </p><p></p><p>Well, that explains why therapist and others kept acting like I must have contributed to his escalation and were constantly asking me about "the argument that lead to this". There was no argument. And I had wondered if difficult child was just trying to put blame on me to avoid responsibility or if he had been completely dillusional or forgotten due to all these medication changes at the time. It appears after what he said today that he can't handle admitting or talking about it. On the one hand, that could mean that he really does realize how serious it was and he is very ashamed of it. on the other hand, how resolved can those feelings be if he never worked on them in therapy or got them out in the open?</p><p></p><p>He has done this with two other very difficult subjects- his father never acknowledging or talking to him and feeling like he doesn't fit in with friends. He'll discuss these things with me very minimally me and admit he has a real tough time with them, but he won't even admit they hurt him in therapy , much less discuss these things with anyone else.</p><p></p><p>Going back to the original topic for a sec- I don't think difficult child would have decided the internet usage was no big deal if he thought I would give in about it. And I feel sure that we'll have to have a few discussions about it after he's home and gets more tempted. I still want to look into netnanny or something similar. I look at it like this- I'm glad to see he's making effort - but I want to help keep him on the right track the way locks are there to keep honest people honest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 345253, member: 3699"] Oh- I almost forgot one of the most important things that difficult child revealed during this- albeit unknowingly. He was explaining the steps he has to take in order to get thru the release process and that includes telling people (counselors/ staff) what his charges were, how they happened and his plan to keep from getting to that point again. He said he tells them about the brush fire and other stuff that got him on the suspended sentence a few years ago but tries to avoid the topic of the assualt on me that actually caused his suspension to be revoked and resulted in incarceration. He said it's too hard to talk about and when they ask him directly, he tells them we were arguing because he was trying to get cigs from me. He said he can't bring himself to tell anyone what he actually did. Well, that explains why therapist and others kept acting like I must have contributed to his escalation and were constantly asking me about "the argument that lead to this". There was no argument. And I had wondered if difficult child was just trying to put blame on me to avoid responsibility or if he had been completely dillusional or forgotten due to all these medication changes at the time. It appears after what he said today that he can't handle admitting or talking about it. On the one hand, that could mean that he really does realize how serious it was and he is very ashamed of it. on the other hand, how resolved can those feelings be if he never worked on them in therapy or got them out in the open? He has done this with two other very difficult subjects- his father never acknowledging or talking to him and feeling like he doesn't fit in with friends. He'll discuss these things with me very minimally me and admit he has a real tough time with them, but he won't even admit they hurt him in therapy , much less discuss these things with anyone else. Going back to the original topic for a sec- I don't think difficult child would have decided the internet usage was no big deal if he thought I would give in about it. And I feel sure that we'll have to have a few discussions about it after he's home and gets more tempted. I still want to look into netnanny or something similar. I look at it like this- I'm glad to see he's making effort - but I want to help keep him on the right track the way locks are there to keep honest people honest. [/QUOTE]
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