MrsMcNear50
New Member
Hi All-
Thought I'd pop in and give ya all an update. I always appriciate your concern and feedback...it helps to keep me strong.
2 months ago I moved out of my apt., and in with a friend. SB had been camped at my house for about 6 weeks without any forward movement. I must say, the move was in my best interest, as she can't come crash with me now. That is good.
Since then, SB has been couch surfing. Currently living with 3 herion addicts, I have suspicion that she is smoking and snorting it. Thank God she is terrified of needles, as she hasn't gone there yet, however, I realize the possiblility that she still may.
I have been picking her up on Sundays, we go to church, visit with her dad and sister, then I take her home. For me, I have to still be her mother, somehow. I've been buying her a few groceries from time to time and personal hygeine products. Other than that, I've left her be.
Last weekend, I let her stay the nite. She seemed really depressed, lonely. We had a lovely day and evening. I went to bed, purse by my side. It wasn't until three days later that I realized she had stolen all my vicodin, I have a broken toe. I was ****** that I was stupid enough to leave it where she could find it....my bad, but close to $50 bucks for her if she sold them....
I went to drop off her shoes a couple days later and see what she had to say. The same ole defenses...I have nothing, I need money. She is living within walking distance of a major shopping area, but has yet to apply for any jobs. She point blank told me, Mom, I guess I just don't want it bad enough...... UGH!
So I am back in detachment mode. I will wait for the next big drama, there always is, and I will not answer my phone or her texts. I still look at her and wonder, why did my highly intelligent child chose this kind of life? Maybe I'll never know. But I do know that this is a CHOICE.
My heart is still broken. My spirit is not. I do fully understand that there is not another thing I can do, another thing I can say. I continue to lift her up in prayer and depend on the good Lord to work it out.
Prayers would be appriciated as always. Love you guys.
Blessings,
Julie
Thought I'd pop in and give ya all an update. I always appriciate your concern and feedback...it helps to keep me strong.
2 months ago I moved out of my apt., and in with a friend. SB had been camped at my house for about 6 weeks without any forward movement. I must say, the move was in my best interest, as she can't come crash with me now. That is good.
Since then, SB has been couch surfing. Currently living with 3 herion addicts, I have suspicion that she is smoking and snorting it. Thank God she is terrified of needles, as she hasn't gone there yet, however, I realize the possiblility that she still may.
I have been picking her up on Sundays, we go to church, visit with her dad and sister, then I take her home. For me, I have to still be her mother, somehow. I've been buying her a few groceries from time to time and personal hygeine products. Other than that, I've left her be.
Last weekend, I let her stay the nite. She seemed really depressed, lonely. We had a lovely day and evening. I went to bed, purse by my side. It wasn't until three days later that I realized she had stolen all my vicodin, I have a broken toe. I was ****** that I was stupid enough to leave it where she could find it....my bad, but close to $50 bucks for her if she sold them....
I went to drop off her shoes a couple days later and see what she had to say. The same ole defenses...I have nothing, I need money. She is living within walking distance of a major shopping area, but has yet to apply for any jobs. She point blank told me, Mom, I guess I just don't want it bad enough...... UGH!
So I am back in detachment mode. I will wait for the next big drama, there always is, and I will not answer my phone or her texts. I still look at her and wonder, why did my highly intelligent child chose this kind of life? Maybe I'll never know. But I do know that this is a CHOICE.
My heart is still broken. My spirit is not. I do fully understand that there is not another thing I can do, another thing I can say. I continue to lift her up in prayer and depend on the good Lord to work it out.
Prayers would be appriciated as always. Love you guys.
Blessings,
Julie