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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 605463" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>I have problems with that whole thing where I am not able to control other people because I get put in the position quite often of being forced into the position of the one who has to take care of problems.</p><p></p><p>In this I am more talking about the situation with Buck than the kids really. I wanted badly to step out of that role of doing things for him because when I did everything for him, it made me very mad when he didnt react and do the things I thought he should be doing. I felt taken advantage of. It felt to me as if when we were nice enough to allow him to live here he should at least try to do a few things we asked instead of lying to me/us. The lying got me but husband just thought I was awful and wrong to figure out he was lying. </p><p></p><p>Well I was the one putting the work in for his brother not him. I was the one who was forced to fill out paperwork, attempt to get him help. He wouldnt move out of his chair to do it himself. And when I said I was simply going to stop doing anything for him I was told I was selfish and that if I didnt help, he would live here forever. I wasnt allowed to detach. My theory had come that if I did nothing for him I wouldnt be as upset when he didnt get whatever he needed done. I wanted to put his issues back on him so that he would have to figure out how to handle his life. That just wasnt allowed. </p><p></p><p>Im telling you, when he finally moved away I have not even wanted to see him. I was at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago and monkey was with me. She spotted Buck in the store and wanted to go say hi but I said no and we went up to pay and left. I just want nothing to do with him. I know he is in the hospital and I felt ticked off because husband wanted to stop in and see him one evening when we were out. I told him to go up but I had no interest but that he had 45 minutes to visit because I was going to pick up supper and I would be back at that time and he better be waiting for me when I got back to the hospital or I would leave him there. husband came out at the right time...lol. </p><p></p><p>I will never allow myself to be put in that position with him again. I would leave and sleep in my new car while selling the trailer out from under them. I am pretty sure that husband has become fed up too because we did what we could for him and now he has to figure his life out himself. He now has income from SSI and he can figure out how to make it on that. </p><p></p><p>I cant help that I think its funny when the woman he is now living with comes back to my house and rants about him. I just shake my head and say I know how you feel...lol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 605463, member: 1514"] I have problems with that whole thing where I am not able to control other people because I get put in the position quite often of being forced into the position of the one who has to take care of problems. In this I am more talking about the situation with Buck than the kids really. I wanted badly to step out of that role of doing things for him because when I did everything for him, it made me very mad when he didnt react and do the things I thought he should be doing. I felt taken advantage of. It felt to me as if when we were nice enough to allow him to live here he should at least try to do a few things we asked instead of lying to me/us. The lying got me but husband just thought I was awful and wrong to figure out he was lying. Well I was the one putting the work in for his brother not him. I was the one who was forced to fill out paperwork, attempt to get him help. He wouldnt move out of his chair to do it himself. And when I said I was simply going to stop doing anything for him I was told I was selfish and that if I didnt help, he would live here forever. I wasnt allowed to detach. My theory had come that if I did nothing for him I wouldnt be as upset when he didnt get whatever he needed done. I wanted to put his issues back on him so that he would have to figure out how to handle his life. That just wasnt allowed. Im telling you, when he finally moved away I have not even wanted to see him. I was at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago and monkey was with me. She spotted Buck in the store and wanted to go say hi but I said no and we went up to pay and left. I just want nothing to do with him. I know he is in the hospital and I felt ticked off because husband wanted to stop in and see him one evening when we were out. I told him to go up but I had no interest but that he had 45 minutes to visit because I was going to pick up supper and I would be back at that time and he better be waiting for me when I got back to the hospital or I would leave him there. husband came out at the right time...lol. I will never allow myself to be put in that position with him again. I would leave and sleep in my new car while selling the trailer out from under them. I am pretty sure that husband has become fed up too because we did what we could for him and now he has to figure his life out himself. He now has income from SSI and he can figure out how to make it on that. I cant help that I think its funny when the woman he is now living with comes back to my house and rants about him. I just shake my head and say I know how you feel...lol. [/QUOTE]
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