Thank you all- I was told by an attny though that in this state, after a foreclosure sell the peron has something like 24 hours to be out of the house then the sheriff comes and boards the doors. I'm trying to mull over options- none are good of course but it's which one will give the best option for having this end up better in the long run for difficult child and myself. I'm thinking I will go to apply for everything possible tomorrow. I filed for child support, too. Then I will need to mull over if going to my mom's might be better than going to a shelter or motel because it might even give difficult child a better chance. I want to get him out of this jurisdiction. I'm sure those people at the courts aren't 100% the blame for everything but after four years of this revolving door, I'm sure they aren't helping to rehabilitate difficult child. They might be more agreeable to keeping him in my custody if I'm at my mom's until I find a job and can get back on my own. It would be hard for them to justify turning difficult child over to dss where he would immediately go to a more distant family member and away from his mother and grandmother. The bad side of that scenario though is my mother is one who kicks me while I'm down and blames all difficult child's issues on me and I am extremely concerned that difficult child's and my relationship would deteriorate even further in a very short period of time. My mother isn't one who can have a rational conversation about things- even about what is in difficult child's best interest. Plus, she has panic attacks and flips out on me. There's a whole string of potential problems with that scenario. But, it wouldn't be quite so bad to go there while difficult child is still incarcerated so he won't be in the middle of that. I think it's better than telling these people before difficult child's trial that I have no permanent hoome and am in a shelter or motel. Then, I'll have to take whatver job I can find. Or at least it will buy a little time to apply for public assistance. Do you have to live in a state for a certain period of time in order to apply for assistance there?
Honestly, in a way it might be best that this happened now while my psychiatric evaluation will be taking place so maybe they can get a glimpse of the types of stresses I have been under. Unfortunately, difficult child admitted to me today that he had blamed everything on me last year. One of the things he had told them was that it was my fsault that I had lost that job last year, not his. He feels that just because he might have had court one day didn't mean I had to miss days of work for it. What difficult child doesn't understand is that I had been ordered to supervise him 24/7 so I couldn't go if he wasn't at school. Then, many times while he would be at school I would be doing thorough searches of his bedroom looking for cutting instruments, or I would be going from agency to agency meeting with them trying to get him help. Or I was ata my therapist or writing letters trying to advocate for the courts to provide something or let him off probation so I could get help from another public agency. And yes, sometimes I did need to just breath or cry. difficult child doesn't get that while one day of crisis for him might be one court appearance than detention, it costs me tons of time and energy and emotional turmoil. And with the periods of crisis being so unppredictable, the boss had suggested a leave of absence until it was over- then when it was over, they had replaced me. But what's worse- these people are automatically assuming difficult child's story has more credibility than mine. He seems like he's cycling to me right now but they all see it as him struggling between bragging and being hyped up over going out and doing whatever he wanted and being bummed out because now he's locked up again. He will see a psychiatric nurse tomorrow but that's standard for him every time he's admitted because he had been on suicide watch down there once so this will just be a verification tomorrow that he's not suicidal. I can only pray that he switches moods like he did in front of me today while she's talking with him.
