Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Vent about difficult child
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="janebrain" data-source="post: 353697" data-attributes="member: 3208"><p>Hi KLMNO,</p><p>this reminds me of how things were with my difficult child 1, E. She lied, manipulated, etc. without regard to the consequences. I think I was able to stop being disappointed and upset with her when I came to the realization that I should never get my hopes up that she had changed. Also, I quit trying to figure out why she did the foolish things she did, and I quit expecting her to think about the consequences of her behavior. She was on a PINS so she had a probation officer. I simply reported the truth to the probation officer, I reported her missing to the police every time I did not know where she was or she did not return when she was supposed to. Did they actively look for her? No, not at first. Eventually she dug her hole deep enough that she was sent off to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I did not lecture her, did not question her, nothing. I simply reported every single misdeed to her P.O. I removed myself from the equation. I told her that her actions would eventually lead to consequences--not made up consequences by me but real ones by people in authority.</p><p></p><p>I think changing your own mindset is the only way you are going to have any peace of mind. A true typical teen has their own internal boundaries and they will not cross the line. A difficult child has no boundaries and will do whatever they can get away with. And, as you know, they are great manipulators. My difficult child was so charming, everyone loved her, even her PO! I think accepting your difficult child as he is now is your best bet. He may change--it isn't set in stone, but if you can accept him where he is now I think you will be able to reach a more neutral state of mind and won't be torn up by anger and disappointment.</p><p></p><p>So sorry, you are in my thoughts often.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="janebrain, post: 353697, member: 3208"] Hi KLMNO, this reminds me of how things were with my difficult child 1, E. She lied, manipulated, etc. without regard to the consequences. I think I was able to stop being disappointed and upset with her when I came to the realization that I should never get my hopes up that she had changed. Also, I quit trying to figure out why she did the foolish things she did, and I quit expecting her to think about the consequences of her behavior. She was on a PINS so she had a probation officer. I simply reported the truth to the probation officer, I reported her missing to the police every time I did not know where she was or she did not return when she was supposed to. Did they actively look for her? No, not at first. Eventually she dug her hole deep enough that she was sent off to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I did not lecture her, did not question her, nothing. I simply reported every single misdeed to her P.O. I removed myself from the equation. I told her that her actions would eventually lead to consequences--not made up consequences by me but real ones by people in authority. I think changing your own mindset is the only way you are going to have any peace of mind. A true typical teen has their own internal boundaries and they will not cross the line. A difficult child has no boundaries and will do whatever they can get away with. And, as you know, they are great manipulators. My difficult child was so charming, everyone loved her, even her PO! I think accepting your difficult child as he is now is your best bet. He may change--it isn't set in stone, but if you can accept him where he is now I think you will be able to reach a more neutral state of mind and won't be torn up by anger and disappointment. So sorry, you are in my thoughts often. Hugs, Jane [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Vent about difficult child
Top