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Vent about difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 354020" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>My mouse is acting up or something so I can't click where to keep typing on my last post- so to finish my thought-</p><p></p><p>I was thinking the biggest issue right now is difficult child not seeing me as an authority figure and being disrespectful and so forth. I think PO is looking at it like difficult child is still on the fence about which path he is going to take and wants to give difficult child a chance to take another baby step. Being a easy child for the parent is apparently at the end of all these steps, not at the beginning like we parents would want. It doesn't mean that difficult child can walk all over me or treat me like dirt, and we ALL will be discussing difficult child's attitude toward me yesterday some more. But I need to touch base with PO before positively telling difficult child that if PO takes him off house arrest, I am grounding him for Mon thru Fri of the following week and I need to find out if PO can put him back on house arrest if difficult child doesn't comply with the consequences I give him. But I am sure at this point that the kid doesn't go straight from a year in Department of Juvenile Justice seeing guards as his only authority to back home with Mom and now Mom is his big authority. PO though keeps stressing that it isn't authority that's at issue- it's difficult child's choice of which path he really wants to take and difficult child needs to get off the fence but he doesn't want to shove him too hard.</p><p></p><p>Of course the main objective is that at the end of the "transition" (being parole) difficult child will have sunnk his teeth into things that are constructive for him and have already chosen for himself not to give into the temptations that steer him away from that, and along with that, he will respect the rules of society and authority figures in the community because he will be more motivated and supposedly, respect grows when you start achieving your own goals- or we can get to a real blunt piont with difficult child and he can have it made clear to him that he'll either respect the rules of me, his principal/teachers, society, or he can sit in Department of Juvenile Justice where they guard kids who can't or won't comply with society's rules. IOW, it's more about the kid deciding what path he wants to take in life than it is about what the parent rewards them with or takes away when they are in this situation - supposedly, if they choose the "good" path (not that anyone reaches perfection) then they will "man up" and not be defiant with authority figures in the community. All I know is that PO is telling me that these kids don't come out of Department of Juvenile Justice already at the point we want them to be. Yeah, somehow I knew that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 354020, member: 3699"] My mouse is acting up or something so I can't click where to keep typing on my last post- so to finish my thought- I was thinking the biggest issue right now is difficult child not seeing me as an authority figure and being disrespectful and so forth. I think PO is looking at it like difficult child is still on the fence about which path he is going to take and wants to give difficult child a chance to take another baby step. Being a easy child for the parent is apparently at the end of all these steps, not at the beginning like we parents would want. It doesn't mean that difficult child can walk all over me or treat me like dirt, and we ALL will be discussing difficult child's attitude toward me yesterday some more. But I need to touch base with PO before positively telling difficult child that if PO takes him off house arrest, I am grounding him for Mon thru Fri of the following week and I need to find out if PO can put him back on house arrest if difficult child doesn't comply with the consequences I give him. But I am sure at this point that the kid doesn't go straight from a year in Department of Juvenile Justice seeing guards as his only authority to back home with Mom and now Mom is his big authority. PO though keeps stressing that it isn't authority that's at issue- it's difficult child's choice of which path he really wants to take and difficult child needs to get off the fence but he doesn't want to shove him too hard. Of course the main objective is that at the end of the "transition" (being parole) difficult child will have sunnk his teeth into things that are constructive for him and have already chosen for himself not to give into the temptations that steer him away from that, and along with that, he will respect the rules of society and authority figures in the community because he will be more motivated and supposedly, respect grows when you start achieving your own goals- or we can get to a real blunt piont with difficult child and he can have it made clear to him that he'll either respect the rules of me, his principal/teachers, society, or he can sit in Department of Juvenile Justice where they guard kids who can't or won't comply with society's rules. IOW, it's more about the kid deciding what path he wants to take in life than it is about what the parent rewards them with or takes away when they are in this situation - supposedly, if they choose the "good" path (not that anyone reaches perfection) then they will "man up" and not be defiant with authority figures in the community. All I know is that PO is telling me that these kids don't come out of Department of Juvenile Justice already at the point we want them to be. Yeah, somehow I knew that. [/QUOTE]
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