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vent lost my temper
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 398343"><p>Jena, I think you hit something square in the head there. Before you were married, in her mind it was different. You even said it felt different coming home after your wedding. Suddenly, you're married and it's more permenent. You're not going to get back together with her father because now there is a ring on your finger from another guy. Even though you lived together for a long time before you got married, even then it's not the same. There is always the chance that he could leave and difficult child would have you all to herself. She is trying to get and hold your attention any way she knows how. My difficult child does this, too. I will send him to his room and he will scream my name, telling me that he HAS to talk to me RIGHT NOW!!!!! He wants to be the one to control his punishment, or any other thing that he feels he has to control. If he thinks he can do that by having a tantrum, he will. difficult child is trying to control who you give attention to by refusing to eat or drink. If she has all of your attention, then your hubby does not. She likes it that way.</p><p> </p><p>I agree with you that you need time alone with your hubby. Can you leave difficult child with easy child so that you and husband can go out? Will she stay with a babysitter? Even if it's just to the 7-11 to get a cup of coffee. You can get out of the house, breath in some fresh air, and have a few minutes to yourself. </p><p> </p><p>When you get her to the hospital in Oregon the majority of the responsibility for her care will be taken off of your shoulders, and it sounds like you need that. I firmly believe that no one can parent a difficult child alone. You need help and the doctors in Oregon will be able to give that to you. And I agree with Janet that when you talk to your husband on the phone while you are away you will be able to actually sit and talk, which you can't do now. It will be quiet and it will be just the two of you.</p><p> </p><p>Lastly, please don't be too hard on yourself for losing your temper. I will say that I have lost my patience with difficult child more times that I can count, and on occasion I have smacked him. I always feel badly about it afterwards and I always tell him that I am sorry for doing it. Let's face it: if I want him to display good behavior I, as his mother, need to be a model of what I expect from him.</p><p> </p><p>I don't mean to be preachy. If I am, I'm sorry. I know that you trying to do what is best for her. It can't be easy watching her not eat and drink. </p><p> </p><p>Pam</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 398343"] Jena, I think you hit something square in the head there. Before you were married, in her mind it was different. You even said it felt different coming home after your wedding. Suddenly, you're married and it's more permenent. You're not going to get back together with her father because now there is a ring on your finger from another guy. Even though you lived together for a long time before you got married, even then it's not the same. There is always the chance that he could leave and difficult child would have you all to herself. She is trying to get and hold your attention any way she knows how. My difficult child does this, too. I will send him to his room and he will scream my name, telling me that he HAS to talk to me RIGHT NOW!!!!! He wants to be the one to control his punishment, or any other thing that he feels he has to control. If he thinks he can do that by having a tantrum, he will. difficult child is trying to control who you give attention to by refusing to eat or drink. If she has all of your attention, then your hubby does not. She likes it that way. I agree with you that you need time alone with your hubby. Can you leave difficult child with easy child so that you and husband can go out? Will she stay with a babysitter? Even if it's just to the 7-11 to get a cup of coffee. You can get out of the house, breath in some fresh air, and have a few minutes to yourself. When you get her to the hospital in Oregon the majority of the responsibility for her care will be taken off of your shoulders, and it sounds like you need that. I firmly believe that no one can parent a difficult child alone. You need help and the doctors in Oregon will be able to give that to you. And I agree with Janet that when you talk to your husband on the phone while you are away you will be able to actually sit and talk, which you can't do now. It will be quiet and it will be just the two of you. Lastly, please don't be too hard on yourself for losing your temper. I will say that I have lost my patience with difficult child more times that I can count, and on occasion I have smacked him. I always feel badly about it afterwards and I always tell him that I am sorry for doing it. Let's face it: if I want him to display good behavior I, as his mother, need to be a model of what I expect from him. I don't mean to be preachy. If I am, I'm sorry. I know that you trying to do what is best for her. It can't be easy watching her not eat and drink. Pam [/QUOTE]
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