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Vent So I Don't Go and Throttle Her!
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 555022" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Sorry she is being a PITA. And like Sig, I applaud for your restraint! I'm not sure if I would have that in me.</p><p></p><p>To me it sounds like she is trying to establish herself as one of the adults of the household. That of course is not her place to take. and she is also still so immature she is trying to do it via creating the drama. I would very firmly make it clear to her (with your husband) that she is not an equal adult with you, that she is certainly not a party in your marriage or you parenting her brothers. Those are things she is not to be involved now or later. And trying to involve herself is totally unacceptable and out of line.</p><p></p><p>Then again, she is trying to play with adult role with adult responsibilities etc. That is something she does need to practise. Kids don't turn to adults in blink of the eye, they need to practise the role and be able to come home and turn kids again. Slowly the adult role starts to be the dominant one and stick. So you don't want to clip her wings, you just want to move her to better practising grounds. My kids and kids on my extended family have had good experiences with animals on this. Riding, obedience training with the dog, taking care of the needs of other pet are safe ways to start to practise more dominant and adult role. So are many kid led activities. Scouts are the popular choice around here (but I think your scout system may be more adult led), so are 'peer instructor' system in our church, being an assistant coach for younger kids in various sports, babysitting, summer jobs etc. all tend to do a trick. They give kids chance to try adulthood, their independence, spread their wings, and come back home afterwards to be a kid. Is your daughter already regularly involved with this type of activities that would let her try her 'being an adult skills'? If not, would there be any possible options for her?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 555022, member: 14557"] Sorry she is being a PITA. And like Sig, I applaud for your restraint! I'm not sure if I would have that in me. To me it sounds like she is trying to establish herself as one of the adults of the household. That of course is not her place to take. and she is also still so immature she is trying to do it via creating the drama. I would very firmly make it clear to her (with your husband) that she is not an equal adult with you, that she is certainly not a party in your marriage or you parenting her brothers. Those are things she is not to be involved now or later. And trying to involve herself is totally unacceptable and out of line. Then again, she is trying to play with adult role with adult responsibilities etc. That is something she does need to practise. Kids don't turn to adults in blink of the eye, they need to practise the role and be able to come home and turn kids again. Slowly the adult role starts to be the dominant one and stick. So you don't want to clip her wings, you just want to move her to better practising grounds. My kids and kids on my extended family have had good experiences with animals on this. Riding, obedience training with the dog, taking care of the needs of other pet are safe ways to start to practise more dominant and adult role. So are many kid led activities. Scouts are the popular choice around here (but I think your scout system may be more adult led), so are 'peer instructor' system in our church, being an assistant coach for younger kids in various sports, babysitting, summer jobs etc. all tend to do a trick. They give kids chance to try adulthood, their independence, spread their wings, and come back home afterwards to be a kid. Is your daughter already regularly involved with this type of activities that would let her try her 'being an adult skills'? If not, would there be any possible options for her? [/QUOTE]
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