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VENT totally fed up
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<blockquote data-quote="helpangel" data-source="post: 533705" data-attributes="member: 7170"><p>My son helps me a lot, without him I could never run to pharmacy, grocery, bank etc. without dragging one of the girls with me. Without him I would have had to drag youngest along for the ride when doing the 6-70 hour camp out sessions while they look for a bed for Angel. </p><p></p><p>Without my son's rent we could probably keep the roof over our heads but wouldn't have funds for cable/internet, electricity, food etc. The reason Angel & him conflict so much is because he is the only one who will stand up to her all the time, I usually only stand my ground when I feel its gonna matter in 40 years. Stuff like letting her hear last 10 minutes of a movie is stuff I usually drop and choose not to fight over.</p><p></p><p>Then there is the guilt; 10-15 years ago I had some kind of breakdown - the X split, work wasn't paying enough, no one to watch kids while I worked, psychiatrists were trialing me on every AD at the same time as I had developed a drinking problem. All the time walking around with my back throbbing from T9 knocked out of place, I was making thru the day but barely. There has been more then one psychiatrist flipping thru the DSM scratching their head because what my problem is isn't listed, yes I have symptoms of various disorders but on each one I also had the thing that ruled out that diagnosis! Hence why I ended up going an alternative medication route that doesn't have much reason to be on a parenting forum. That route also helps with pain management & dealing with my ulcers.</p><p></p><p>In middle school my son's day went like this - 6 am get up check mom for a pulse, do homework, switch laundry to next stage, shower, eat breakfast, walk to school, after school hurry home because only have an hour and half to do paper route before mom leaves, eat dinner, watch sisters till 10pm when mom gets home to hear here nagging about why the house is a mess, dinner dishes not done and dealing with sisters who bounce off the walls till around 2 am, then get up tomorrow and do the same thing. </p><p></p><p>When I was in junior high my biggest concern was if the boy I liked was going to ask me to dance on Friday? I hate all the responsibility I piled on my son's shoulders when he was only 12yo. It was like I was drowning and he was the only one with a flotation devise in sight. I'm just so glad I had raised him to be strong enough to not let me pull him under with me; actually he kept my head out of the water until I could paddle on my own.</p><p></p><p>The kids never saw the kittens and if I had kept my mouth shut would have never known about them. The therapist thinks I'm doing best anyone could in this situation and agrees with R, Angel's CM, Angel & I that Angel moving out would be a good thing. - and is glad my youngest is her patient not Angel LOL. Besides shared genes with Angel, R's biggest problem is dealing with her own issues in the toxic environment caused by her sisters illness.</p><p></p><p>If my son had his own bedroom a lot of the conflicts could be avoided, but only got a 2 bedroom house and the basement is more like a cellar, the youngest put her bed in the kitchen dining area which leaves my son in the living room. The only way I can give him a room is to give up my bedroom and I had to wait for him to go to college to get out of the living room and that's not happening again - I need my mom cave LOL.</p><p></p><p>Angel will be in separate living arrangements from us in 2-14 months; just need to maintain until then. Her & I its exactly same as me & my mom - we love each other but you can only have one queen bee in a bee hive; she needs to move out so her and I can like each other again.</p><p></p><p>UGH sorry started writing a book again. I use the forums to replace a therapist for myself doesn't require gas, on my schedule (no missed appointment fees), no co pays, 24 hours - I know a few times people read my posts and wonder where is the ? - a lot of times there isn't one it is me sorting stuff out in my head or venting. I teared up when I was reminding myself what I had put my son thru, many times he's the only one besides you all that gets it.</p><p></p><p>The strike has been going since Mother's day therapist, CM, school all know about it - funny thing is it was every man for himself for a couple days then R cooked 2 nights, A cooked 1, son bought pizza for everyone - sure kitchen is trashed, but garbage made it out so I did some dishes and I hung a fly strip (YUCK) in the bathroom - because partial strike is still on.</p><p> <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/tinfoilhatsmile.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tinfoilhatsmile:" title="tinfoilhatsmile :tinfoilhatsmile:" data-shortname=":tinfoilhatsmile:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpangel, post: 533705, member: 7170"] My son helps me a lot, without him I could never run to pharmacy, grocery, bank etc. without dragging one of the girls with me. Without him I would have had to drag youngest along for the ride when doing the 6-70 hour camp out sessions while they look for a bed for Angel. Without my son's rent we could probably keep the roof over our heads but wouldn't have funds for cable/internet, electricity, food etc. The reason Angel & him conflict so much is because he is the only one who will stand up to her all the time, I usually only stand my ground when I feel its gonna matter in 40 years. Stuff like letting her hear last 10 minutes of a movie is stuff I usually drop and choose not to fight over. Then there is the guilt; 10-15 years ago I had some kind of breakdown - the X split, work wasn't paying enough, no one to watch kids while I worked, psychiatrists were trialing me on every AD at the same time as I had developed a drinking problem. All the time walking around with my back throbbing from T9 knocked out of place, I was making thru the day but barely. There has been more then one psychiatrist flipping thru the DSM scratching their head because what my problem is isn't listed, yes I have symptoms of various disorders but on each one I also had the thing that ruled out that diagnosis! Hence why I ended up going an alternative medication route that doesn't have much reason to be on a parenting forum. That route also helps with pain management & dealing with my ulcers. In middle school my son's day went like this - 6 am get up check mom for a pulse, do homework, switch laundry to next stage, shower, eat breakfast, walk to school, after school hurry home because only have an hour and half to do paper route before mom leaves, eat dinner, watch sisters till 10pm when mom gets home to hear here nagging about why the house is a mess, dinner dishes not done and dealing with sisters who bounce off the walls till around 2 am, then get up tomorrow and do the same thing. When I was in junior high my biggest concern was if the boy I liked was going to ask me to dance on Friday? I hate all the responsibility I piled on my son's shoulders when he was only 12yo. It was like I was drowning and he was the only one with a flotation devise in sight. I'm just so glad I had raised him to be strong enough to not let me pull him under with me; actually he kept my head out of the water until I could paddle on my own. The kids never saw the kittens and if I had kept my mouth shut would have never known about them. The therapist thinks I'm doing best anyone could in this situation and agrees with R, Angel's CM, Angel & I that Angel moving out would be a good thing. - and is glad my youngest is her patient not Angel LOL. Besides shared genes with Angel, R's biggest problem is dealing with her own issues in the toxic environment caused by her sisters illness. If my son had his own bedroom a lot of the conflicts could be avoided, but only got a 2 bedroom house and the basement is more like a cellar, the youngest put her bed in the kitchen dining area which leaves my son in the living room. The only way I can give him a room is to give up my bedroom and I had to wait for him to go to college to get out of the living room and that's not happening again - I need my mom cave LOL. Angel will be in separate living arrangements from us in 2-14 months; just need to maintain until then. Her & I its exactly same as me & my mom - we love each other but you can only have one queen bee in a bee hive; she needs to move out so her and I can like each other again. UGH sorry started writing a book again. I use the forums to replace a therapist for myself doesn't require gas, on my schedule (no missed appointment fees), no co pays, 24 hours - I know a few times people read my posts and wonder where is the ? - a lot of times there isn't one it is me sorting stuff out in my head or venting. I teared up when I was reminding myself what I had put my son thru, many times he's the only one besides you all that gets it. The strike has been going since Mother's day therapist, CM, school all know about it - funny thing is it was every man for himself for a couple days then R cooked 2 nights, A cooked 1, son bought pizza for everyone - sure kitchen is trashed, but garbage made it out so I did some dishes and I hung a fly strip (YUCK) in the bathroom - because partial strike is still on. :tinfoilhatsmile: [/QUOTE]
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