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venting...i'm so tired...at a loss...hugs?
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 137176" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>feelinalone, after reading your last post, it appears to me that there might be a misconception about some terminology that is used openly and freely on the board. Whether it was my post or someone else's, it looks like you have interpreted some of our words to be judgemental and critical. I don't think anyone here has been that way on this thread, but I think it might have come across that way due to your definition of "mental illness". </p><p></p><p>This is not uncommon for us when we are first starting down the road of having to deal with psychiatrists, tdocs, question of medications, etc. When my difficult child started having issues and ended up in psychiatric hospital and they were getting family history from me to try to help diagnosis him, I was asked if there was any mental illness in my family. I said "no" and at the time, I sincerely thought that was the truthful answer because I thought they were asking if anyone was schizophrenic(sp) or just completely insane (needing to be institutionalized), etc. I might have hampered my own son's intitial diagnosis because of this. Later, as I learned more and accepted more, I realized that depression and anxiety issues are considered along the lines of mental illness and I should have told the psychiatrist that who was trying to determine if my son was unipolar or bipolar. It might not have changed the diagnosis, but they might not have started him on prozac. This is a guilt I have to carry.</p><p></p><p>It took some time for me to really come to see that "mental illness" is the EXACT same thing as "physical illness" in the sense that it is an illness not to be crticized but to be treated in appropriate ways. Most of us on the board have had at least one situation where we have had to fight to get help for our difficult child and we feel just as frustrated as a parent would if they had to bang on a locked hospital door yelling "let us in, my child is physically ill, why won't you help". </p><p></p><p>That physical illness might be as simple as the flu or an ear infection, it doesn't neccessarily mean it is a terminal illness like cancer, or a lifelong illness that needs to be maintained, like diabetes or asthma. Nevertheless, all of these are physical illnesses. Those (or at least most) of us here have accepted the fact that these various issues that make our difficult child's the difficult child's they are (when we are talking about mood disorders and such), are issues that fall into the category of mental illnesses. We don't look at this as a terminal illness or reason to consider our children "black sheep".</p><p></p><p>I don't think anyone here believes or means to suggest that anyone in prison is automatically mentally ill. I am SURE no one here is being critical of anyone with mental illness or views a person with mental illness as being "bad" because of it. </p><p></p><p>Those of us on this board are usually the ones working to get others that we have to deal with to change their stereotypes and stigmas attached to the words "mental illness". By reading about your family, it does sound like there have been at least temporary periods of some "issue", whatever that is. Just like most people have some periods where they might be physically ill in their lifetime, this is nothing to be ashamed of. I hope you can try to see that when reading our responses about that, if it wouldn't bother you if we said "physical illness" instead of "mental illness", then no one meant anything judgemental about saying "mental illness".</p><p></p><p>And this is not something that WE think or YOU should think is something to be ashamed of. The question of whether or not someone is "bad" is a completely separate question than whether or not someone has a "mental illness" and you'll be hard-pressed to find people who understand that more than the people here on this board. So, I apologize if it came across to you otherwise.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 137176, member: 3699"] feelinalone, after reading your last post, it appears to me that there might be a misconception about some terminology that is used openly and freely on the board. Whether it was my post or someone else's, it looks like you have interpreted some of our words to be judgemental and critical. I don't think anyone here has been that way on this thread, but I think it might have come across that way due to your definition of "mental illness". This is not uncommon for us when we are first starting down the road of having to deal with psychiatrists, tdocs, question of medications, etc. When my difficult child started having issues and ended up in psychiatric hospital and they were getting family history from me to try to help diagnosis him, I was asked if there was any mental illness in my family. I said "no" and at the time, I sincerely thought that was the truthful answer because I thought they were asking if anyone was schizophrenic(sp) or just completely insane (needing to be institutionalized), etc. I might have hampered my own son's intitial diagnosis because of this. Later, as I learned more and accepted more, I realized that depression and anxiety issues are considered along the lines of mental illness and I should have told the psychiatrist that who was trying to determine if my son was unipolar or bipolar. It might not have changed the diagnosis, but they might not have started him on prozac. This is a guilt I have to carry. It took some time for me to really come to see that "mental illness" is the EXACT same thing as "physical illness" in the sense that it is an illness not to be crticized but to be treated in appropriate ways. Most of us on the board have had at least one situation where we have had to fight to get help for our difficult child and we feel just as frustrated as a parent would if they had to bang on a locked hospital door yelling "let us in, my child is physically ill, why won't you help". That physical illness might be as simple as the flu or an ear infection, it doesn't neccessarily mean it is a terminal illness like cancer, or a lifelong illness that needs to be maintained, like diabetes or asthma. Nevertheless, all of these are physical illnesses. Those (or at least most) of us here have accepted the fact that these various issues that make our difficult child's the difficult child's they are (when we are talking about mood disorders and such), are issues that fall into the category of mental illnesses. We don't look at this as a terminal illness or reason to consider our children "black sheep". I don't think anyone here believes or means to suggest that anyone in prison is automatically mentally ill. I am SURE no one here is being critical of anyone with mental illness or views a person with mental illness as being "bad" because of it. Those of us on this board are usually the ones working to get others that we have to deal with to change their stereotypes and stigmas attached to the words "mental illness". By reading about your family, it does sound like there have been at least temporary periods of some "issue", whatever that is. Just like most people have some periods where they might be physically ill in their lifetime, this is nothing to be ashamed of. I hope you can try to see that when reading our responses about that, if it wouldn't bother you if we said "physical illness" instead of "mental illness", then no one meant anything judgemental about saying "mental illness". And this is not something that WE think or YOU should think is something to be ashamed of. The question of whether or not someone is "bad" is a completely separate question than whether or not someone has a "mental illness" and you'll be hard-pressed to find people who understand that more than the people here on this board. So, I apologize if it came across to you otherwise. [/QUOTE]
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