Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Very Upset
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Mamaof5" data-source="post: 400642"><p>Problem is, we do communicate. We always have. We're an...odd couple. I don't care that he has friends of the opposite sex and he doesn't care that I do. What really is getting to me that's making me think I'm crazy and paranoid is that we both have each others passwords, neither of us have changed ANYTHING on any of our accounts. We both know we have those passwords and are both given permission to check if we ever wanted to. He talks to me, I talk to him. We always work out stuff and none of his behaviors have changed EXCEPT for hiding the yahoo chat box last night and deleting emails strickly from her or FB private messages.</p><p></p><p>Back in Summer of 2005 the young lady who (as I call it) tried to "step into my territory" tried persuing him hard core. He even IM'ed her that he was married and wasn't interested then kind of "played along" because she just wouldn't leave him alone (I read each and every one of those IM chats and he sat with me while I did it. In fact showed them to me of his own free will when I asked to see them). He's a non-confontrational personality, he doesn't know how to say no or to peeve off and shove off to people. He does not like ANY confrontation and shuts down (not aggresively or anything like that just asks for space and doesn't want to talk about it until it's his own terms and he's comfortable doing so...okay, you know people deal with confrontation differently. As long as he's talking in the end and being comfortable to talk is one step closer to good communication without aggression).</p><p></p><p>I'm wondering if this is the same thing with this lady. Turns out she's in Vancouver rather than Texas (another friend is in Texas, mixed them up). I did ask who he was chatting with to gauge the situation last night too, he RARELY stutters...ever. Unless he's lying...He said it was his friend "Pudd" and stuttered then trailed off on the sentence with a "from IMVU & Yoville" (she is from there too but she's one of my friends too, however the other lady is not).</p><p></p><p>Sorry about the curse word...didn't even realize I typed it. That's how utterly brain fried I am by this. What's really classic, 10 years ago I confessed my being bi and said that I would never do so not even with his permission (which he gave by the way, knowing that I have "that need"). I had an opportunity where a neighbor lady was hitting on me and wanted to experience that for the first time but I said no, I'm sorry I'm married. She knew I had permission from him but I still said no - it's just not me. I chose him regardless of "that need" because "that need" is no longer a need it is a desire that would never be acted upon BECAUSE I chose him to be with. I think emotional affairs or the possibility of one is so much more devestating.</p><p></p><p>Believe me, we both have opposite sex friends that we say "I love ya" at and we both know it's a friendship "I love you" and not anything more. I have a male friend who is like a brother to me (a co author of a novel we both wrote together) that lives in Corpus Christi. He knows about it, even called him on Xmas day to say Merry Christmas right in front of the husband. I don't hide anything, he used to never hide a thing either. That's the only behavioral change. Which is why I'm going crazy and thinking I'm paranoid. That's why I'm doubting myself and what my gut is saying...maybe he thinks I'd be upset about friendship "I love yous" but he should know better. It's not like we have the finances for him to go running off over there (hence the emotional affair thing rather than physical) or that he's buying her things and sending them her way (we have no credit, no credit cards and the line of credit is a dinky 2G maxed out). The only asset we have is the van, and the clicks on the van odemeter have not changed outside of normal ranges. He doesn't have a cell phone (I do for the business but he sees EVERYTHING on it, I'll even show him text messages and the only person I text is his co-worker and our friend Melissa, bosses daughter).</p><p></p><p>How do you get a keylogger on a computer. There is a free set of keyloggers online you can use. Or you can write the program (I'm lazy, I dl'ed one). It's installed then runs in the background hidden. It can either be checked while the person is away or some can email reports generated to specified email account. You can also use PCAnywhere or an open source similar program to monitor what's going on in real time. Again this can be done in stealth mode. There's also something called VCN readers which back door a firewall, modem and gateway to monitor in real time what is going on on the screen from a remote location. (You bet all three are on the computer).</p><p></p><p>Really, honestly I thought he would know better about trying to hide stuff on the computer because of me being a techie. I really thought he was honest, better than his piece of lying **** dad and mine. Maybe I did chose a man like my dad after all. The biggest hurt - if it is true I'll never trust him again, not fully. We very well might end up a dang divorce statistic and I don't want my kids without their father. If it is true I'll be as civil as civil comes only for the kids sake. Unlike my mother. That part of the cycle I WILL break.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mamaof5, post: 400642"] Problem is, we do communicate. We always have. We're an...odd couple. I don't care that he has friends of the opposite sex and he doesn't care that I do. What really is getting to me that's making me think I'm crazy and paranoid is that we both have each others passwords, neither of us have changed ANYTHING on any of our accounts. We both know we have those passwords and are both given permission to check if we ever wanted to. He talks to me, I talk to him. We always work out stuff and none of his behaviors have changed EXCEPT for hiding the yahoo chat box last night and deleting emails strickly from her or FB private messages. Back in Summer of 2005 the young lady who (as I call it) tried to "step into my territory" tried persuing him hard core. He even IM'ed her that he was married and wasn't interested then kind of "played along" because she just wouldn't leave him alone (I read each and every one of those IM chats and he sat with me while I did it. In fact showed them to me of his own free will when I asked to see them). He's a non-confontrational personality, he doesn't know how to say no or to peeve off and shove off to people. He does not like ANY confrontation and shuts down (not aggresively or anything like that just asks for space and doesn't want to talk about it until it's his own terms and he's comfortable doing so...okay, you know people deal with confrontation differently. As long as he's talking in the end and being comfortable to talk is one step closer to good communication without aggression). I'm wondering if this is the same thing with this lady. Turns out she's in Vancouver rather than Texas (another friend is in Texas, mixed them up). I did ask who he was chatting with to gauge the situation last night too, he RARELY stutters...ever. Unless he's lying...He said it was his friend "Pudd" and stuttered then trailed off on the sentence with a "from IMVU & Yoville" (she is from there too but she's one of my friends too, however the other lady is not). Sorry about the curse word...didn't even realize I typed it. That's how utterly brain fried I am by this. What's really classic, 10 years ago I confessed my being bi and said that I would never do so not even with his permission (which he gave by the way, knowing that I have "that need"). I had an opportunity where a neighbor lady was hitting on me and wanted to experience that for the first time but I said no, I'm sorry I'm married. She knew I had permission from him but I still said no - it's just not me. I chose him regardless of "that need" because "that need" is no longer a need it is a desire that would never be acted upon BECAUSE I chose him to be with. I think emotional affairs or the possibility of one is so much more devestating. Believe me, we both have opposite sex friends that we say "I love ya" at and we both know it's a friendship "I love you" and not anything more. I have a male friend who is like a brother to me (a co author of a novel we both wrote together) that lives in Corpus Christi. He knows about it, even called him on Xmas day to say Merry Christmas right in front of the husband. I don't hide anything, he used to never hide a thing either. That's the only behavioral change. Which is why I'm going crazy and thinking I'm paranoid. That's why I'm doubting myself and what my gut is saying...maybe he thinks I'd be upset about friendship "I love yous" but he should know better. It's not like we have the finances for him to go running off over there (hence the emotional affair thing rather than physical) or that he's buying her things and sending them her way (we have no credit, no credit cards and the line of credit is a dinky 2G maxed out). The only asset we have is the van, and the clicks on the van odemeter have not changed outside of normal ranges. He doesn't have a cell phone (I do for the business but he sees EVERYTHING on it, I'll even show him text messages and the only person I text is his co-worker and our friend Melissa, bosses daughter). How do you get a keylogger on a computer. There is a free set of keyloggers online you can use. Or you can write the program (I'm lazy, I dl'ed one). It's installed then runs in the background hidden. It can either be checked while the person is away or some can email reports generated to specified email account. You can also use PCAnywhere or an open source similar program to monitor what's going on in real time. Again this can be done in stealth mode. There's also something called VCN readers which back door a firewall, modem and gateway to monitor in real time what is going on on the screen from a remote location. (You bet all three are on the computer). Really, honestly I thought he would know better about trying to hide stuff on the computer because of me being a techie. I really thought he was honest, better than his piece of lying **** dad and mine. Maybe I did chose a man like my dad after all. The biggest hurt - if it is true I'll never trust him again, not fully. We very well might end up a dang divorce statistic and I don't want my kids without their father. If it is true I'll be as civil as civil comes only for the kids sake. Unlike my mother. That part of the cycle I WILL break. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Very Upset
Top