klmno
Active Member
I visited difficult child today. He seems to be doing so much better than I expected. It made me feel a lot better. He says he is hearing from staff that his stay in state Department of Juvenile Justice won't be that long- less than a year- so he says he can do it ok. I don't know if they are right or not, but that would be a lot different than the 3 years that the guidelines indicate as a possibility. He said his attny told him that it could be up to 18 mos. Really, we won't know for another few weeks.
Now- difficult child told me what happened before court on Monday. He said the GAL came and talked to him just a couple of mins first. She asked if he wanted to go live with my bro and he told her no. She told him that there were only a couple of options and they were living with my bro or commitment to Department of Juvenile Justice and that it was "his mother's fault". She told him it was because I was never cooperative with mst services or the second inhome services put in place. (Never mind that we had this latest crisis before we ever even met the 2nd inhome therapist and I'm sitting here next to the form we were given by PO earlier the day difficult child was arrested and it is signed by both me and difficult child and dated for that day.) She told him Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was out of the question because of this. Never mind that PO had told me Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was out of the question before Jan- which is why I put the letter into the judge. But what gets me the most about this- besides the gal clearly starting to show what she really is advocating for- is that this is a kid just released from psychiatric hospital and supposedly, these people were so focused on his diagnosis of "child-parent relationship problems" instead of his mood diagnosis and recommendation for a psychiatric Residential Treatment Center (RTC) level of care, and she's over there before court for 2 mins to tell difficult child this, and ask if he wants to live with my bro and telling him the only other option is Department of Juvenile Justice and it's his mother's fault. And who's instigating conflict? Me? The attny's justified asking the judge to do a psychiatric evaluation on me by stating the child-parent problems listed. And then gal does this? I have said all along that I think it's the blaming me instead of focusing on appropriate mental health care that has caused issues between difficult child and contributed to our individual deterioration of things.
This undermining carp is exactly what PO does. My bet is that the GAL was banking on addressing this with the judge MONDAY- but it didn't happen. The court order I broke was not processed yet and the judge did look at the gal after the gal kept going off about that and saying it was me being the problem and the judge told the gal that she was not turning difficult child over to go to my bro and that this (being my issues and breaking court order) had nothing to do with this (being difficult child's sentencing). Nnot to mention, the gal and judge know about the family stuff I testified to and that difficult child does NOT know about it. Since when should it be his decision to live with my bro under circumstances like that? When the judge ended up asking me what I was doing to protect difficult child from my family- including my bro?
I asked difficult child what he thought and he said that he knew what had happened and not happened with mst and inhome services had not even started. He just shoook his head and said the gal hated me but not to worry- he knew how she was- that she was 2-faced and it's not the first time she's done stuff like this.
Then, he said his defense attny came in and talked to him a little longer. He said his defense attny told him that I might not be a perfect mom, but that I loved him very much and had really tried to help him.
I'm really glad I broke that court order now. Otherwise, I would have no opportunity to have half a chance of answering to these accusations and bringing to court's attention that my son said this was said to him. I hate those people. How can they expect me not to? AAnd the baiting they do- c'mon- when the mst guy called and said I was just to go take one written test and I would get a diagnosis, treatment plan, and medications that would be ordered by judge and that there would be no interview of psychiatric on me because he'd already given my info to the psychiatric, but if I didn't do this, I would be facing the judge. I think they are intentionally trying to instigate problems at this point. Call me paranoid if you want. I think these people are sick and have completely lost their objectivity. Anything I advocated for or questioned was only because what they were saying was not what the mental health profs in difficult child's life were saying/recommending.
And while I was waiting to go in for visitation, I was chattiing with a lady who informs me that her son is getting released within a week from detention to GO TO Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that they are odering/paying for. I asked who the gal, PO and judge were. All different from difficult child's. The judge was the one who difficult child had for his arraignment- the one married to his favorite teacher and who ordered difficult child's mental health evaluation that got him tdo'd from detention. I told her how I'd tried so hard to get this but that difficult child had been arrested again because we were having one crisis after another and this latest incident happened before they could even get an in home therapist out there. She said her son had been arrested again too, but those people really advocated for him, so he was being allowed to go to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) instead of sentenced to do time.
Ok, I'd sit here and feel like I really blew it if things had been going well until I did something to make them go awry, causing all this conflict and lack of support. But I swear to you, the GAL and PO always acted like they blamed me. The gal was involved months before the PO was even assigned, so maybe the PO's attitude came from the GAL telling her something, I don't know. But I know it has spread like crazy amongst these people. I thought it got cleared up after all that questioning the gal gave me last year when I was testifying, but it did not. And I don't think it ever will. And it's not like the GAL really looks into anything then she came across something bad about me. Maybe she's really the one that doesn't believe difficult child's mental health issues and after my bro talked to her, she can't let go of the idea that difficult child should be with him.
Now- difficult child told me what happened before court on Monday. He said the GAL came and talked to him just a couple of mins first. She asked if he wanted to go live with my bro and he told her no. She told him that there were only a couple of options and they were living with my bro or commitment to Department of Juvenile Justice and that it was "his mother's fault". She told him it was because I was never cooperative with mst services or the second inhome services put in place. (Never mind that we had this latest crisis before we ever even met the 2nd inhome therapist and I'm sitting here next to the form we were given by PO earlier the day difficult child was arrested and it is signed by both me and difficult child and dated for that day.) She told him Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was out of the question because of this. Never mind that PO had told me Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was out of the question before Jan- which is why I put the letter into the judge. But what gets me the most about this- besides the gal clearly starting to show what she really is advocating for- is that this is a kid just released from psychiatric hospital and supposedly, these people were so focused on his diagnosis of "child-parent relationship problems" instead of his mood diagnosis and recommendation for a psychiatric Residential Treatment Center (RTC) level of care, and she's over there before court for 2 mins to tell difficult child this, and ask if he wants to live with my bro and telling him the only other option is Department of Juvenile Justice and it's his mother's fault. And who's instigating conflict? Me? The attny's justified asking the judge to do a psychiatric evaluation on me by stating the child-parent problems listed. And then gal does this? I have said all along that I think it's the blaming me instead of focusing on appropriate mental health care that has caused issues between difficult child and contributed to our individual deterioration of things.
This undermining carp is exactly what PO does. My bet is that the GAL was banking on addressing this with the judge MONDAY- but it didn't happen. The court order I broke was not processed yet and the judge did look at the gal after the gal kept going off about that and saying it was me being the problem and the judge told the gal that she was not turning difficult child over to go to my bro and that this (being my issues and breaking court order) had nothing to do with this (being difficult child's sentencing). Nnot to mention, the gal and judge know about the family stuff I testified to and that difficult child does NOT know about it. Since when should it be his decision to live with my bro under circumstances like that? When the judge ended up asking me what I was doing to protect difficult child from my family- including my bro?
I asked difficult child what he thought and he said that he knew what had happened and not happened with mst and inhome services had not even started. He just shoook his head and said the gal hated me but not to worry- he knew how she was- that she was 2-faced and it's not the first time she's done stuff like this.
Then, he said his defense attny came in and talked to him a little longer. He said his defense attny told him that I might not be a perfect mom, but that I loved him very much and had really tried to help him.
I'm really glad I broke that court order now. Otherwise, I would have no opportunity to have half a chance of answering to these accusations and bringing to court's attention that my son said this was said to him. I hate those people. How can they expect me not to? AAnd the baiting they do- c'mon- when the mst guy called and said I was just to go take one written test and I would get a diagnosis, treatment plan, and medications that would be ordered by judge and that there would be no interview of psychiatric on me because he'd already given my info to the psychiatric, but if I didn't do this, I would be facing the judge. I think they are intentionally trying to instigate problems at this point. Call me paranoid if you want. I think these people are sick and have completely lost their objectivity. Anything I advocated for or questioned was only because what they were saying was not what the mental health profs in difficult child's life were saying/recommending.
And while I was waiting to go in for visitation, I was chattiing with a lady who informs me that her son is getting released within a week from detention to GO TO Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that they are odering/paying for. I asked who the gal, PO and judge were. All different from difficult child's. The judge was the one who difficult child had for his arraignment- the one married to his favorite teacher and who ordered difficult child's mental health evaluation that got him tdo'd from detention. I told her how I'd tried so hard to get this but that difficult child had been arrested again because we were having one crisis after another and this latest incident happened before they could even get an in home therapist out there. She said her son had been arrested again too, but those people really advocated for him, so he was being allowed to go to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) instead of sentenced to do time.
Ok, I'd sit here and feel like I really blew it if things had been going well until I did something to make them go awry, causing all this conflict and lack of support. But I swear to you, the GAL and PO always acted like they blamed me. The gal was involved months before the PO was even assigned, so maybe the PO's attitude came from the GAL telling her something, I don't know. But I know it has spread like crazy amongst these people. I thought it got cleared up after all that questioning the gal gave me last year when I was testifying, but it did not. And I don't think it ever will. And it's not like the GAL really looks into anything then she came across something bad about me. Maybe she's really the one that doesn't believe difficult child's mental health issues and after my bro talked to her, she can't let go of the idea that difficult child should be with him.
Last edited: