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Voluntary Lock out?
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<blockquote data-quote="eap7243" data-source="post: 376053"><p>While we've pretty much left him on his own, we haven't stripped down his personal things to this level yet. That WILL be done. </p><p></p><p>And yes, he's already destroyed much of his room by hacking (many) holes in the wall, has hidden weapons and drug paraphernalia. </p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p>Every exterior door in the house is locked with a deadbolt keyed on both sides. Front door has a utility closet door knob (always 'locked'. When closes, only way to get in is with a key). The only entry and exit from the home is through the front door except for wife and I. All the windows in the house have boards in the window sills screwed into the frame and screws sealed closed with epoxy which only allows windows to open and close about 4 inches for ventilation so that windows cannot be opened/closed to exit the home. Basement door access from inside the home is locked, access to garage door is locked. All this was done in an effort to stall the coming and going after curfew without permission. </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>We did meet with a lawyer regarding CO law, and it appears that once the adoption is final, they no longer recognize dissolving an adoption. Once the child is legally adopted, he is yours.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am beginning to look at being a parent in quite a different way. Now I'm performing my God given, moral and legal obligation that I signed up for. I think of myself more of a parole officer, since there's not much more of a relationship there. It's good to hear confirmation that what we've feared is most likely true and that is difficult child will never bond with us. Maybe difficult child is better off than he would have been if he didn't have us, but what will he become when he's 18 and on his own? I have read brief articles on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), but will look into it more.</p><p></p><p>I have read L&L and they have been a huge help. Mostly the difficulty that we've found is that there aren't many consequences that will impact him. The cell phone has been the biggest for him, but he's already lost that one for good. I will get and read copies of "The Explosive Child" and "Parenting the Hurt Child'. </p><p></p><p>In this relationship, I've been the one doing research, trying to find options, trying to actually 'work' with him. wife doesn't like him, and cant' bring herself to do the responsible thing for him. She'll go along with whatever I suggest. </p><p></p><p>I wish we could get some psychiatric evaluation completed for him and get him into some treatment. I don't know how much voluntary treatment we could get him to go through. Did a psychiatric hospital do anything for your's?</p><p> </p><p>Thanks again for the hope and the (((hugs)))!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="eap7243, post: 376053"] While we've pretty much left him on his own, we haven't stripped down his personal things to this level yet. That WILL be done. And yes, he's already destroyed much of his room by hacking (many) holes in the wall, has hidden weapons and drug paraphernalia. Every exterior door in the house is locked with a deadbolt keyed on both sides. Front door has a utility closet door knob (always 'locked'. When closes, only way to get in is with a key). The only entry and exit from the home is through the front door except for wife and I. All the windows in the house have boards in the window sills screwed into the frame and screws sealed closed with epoxy which only allows windows to open and close about 4 inches for ventilation so that windows cannot be opened/closed to exit the home. Basement door access from inside the home is locked, access to garage door is locked. All this was done in an effort to stall the coming and going after curfew without permission. We did meet with a lawyer regarding CO law, and it appears that once the adoption is final, they no longer recognize dissolving an adoption. Once the child is legally adopted, he is yours. I am beginning to look at being a parent in quite a different way. Now I'm performing my God given, moral and legal obligation that I signed up for. I think of myself more of a parole officer, since there's not much more of a relationship there. It's good to hear confirmation that what we've feared is most likely true and that is difficult child will never bond with us. Maybe difficult child is better off than he would have been if he didn't have us, but what will he become when he's 18 and on his own? I have read brief articles on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), but will look into it more. I have read L&L and they have been a huge help. Mostly the difficulty that we've found is that there aren't many consequences that will impact him. The cell phone has been the biggest for him, but he's already lost that one for good. I will get and read copies of "The Explosive Child" and "Parenting the Hurt Child'. In this relationship, I've been the one doing research, trying to find options, trying to actually 'work' with him. wife doesn't like him, and cant' bring herself to do the responsible thing for him. She'll go along with whatever I suggest. I wish we could get some psychiatric evaluation completed for him and get him into some treatment. I don't know how much voluntary treatment we could get him to go through. Did a psychiatric hospital do anything for your's? Thanks again for the hope and the (((hugs)))! [/QUOTE]
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