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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 377291" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Boy, did YOU say the truth. When you apply to adopt an older child, they don't tell you the flat out truth: "It's likely that this child has attachment disorder, which means that he will never love you, that he is afraid of love, and that you cant' do a thing to change that. On top of that, he will probably hurt other people, especially your family and will most likely end up in jail no matter how hard you try. This will break your heart." They really minimize the problems. Half the time these kids were born with drugs and alcohol marring them and giving them three steps behind before their birth and THAT can't be fixed either. I get very angry thinking about how ill-prepared the exhausted parents at my Special Needs adoption meeting were. Most were getting their house repaired, if not their own selves beaten up, because of their very disturbed kids. But...if they told us the truth about how hopeless it often is, nobody would adopt older kids. There are a lot more sob stories than happy endings when you adopt older kids, who have already been so damaged and love doesn't fix it.Yes, we also thought that love would conquer all.</p><p></p><p>Enough from me. I feel for you. And I agree...CPS is not on your side all the time. T</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 377291, member: 1550"] Boy, did YOU say the truth. When you apply to adopt an older child, they don't tell you the flat out truth: "It's likely that this child has attachment disorder, which means that he will never love you, that he is afraid of love, and that you cant' do a thing to change that. On top of that, he will probably hurt other people, especially your family and will most likely end up in jail no matter how hard you try. This will break your heart." They really minimize the problems. Half the time these kids were born with drugs and alcohol marring them and giving them three steps behind before their birth and THAT can't be fixed either. I get very angry thinking about how ill-prepared the exhausted parents at my Special Needs adoption meeting were. Most were getting their house repaired, if not their own selves beaten up, because of their very disturbed kids. But...if they told us the truth about how hopeless it often is, nobody would adopt older kids. There are a lot more sob stories than happy endings when you adopt older kids, who have already been so damaged and love doesn't fix it.Yes, we also thought that love would conquer all. Enough from me. I feel for you. And I agree...CPS is not on your side all the time. T Take care. [/QUOTE]
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