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Substance Abuse
Waiting for the rain to start....
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<blockquote data-quote="Terryforvols" data-source="post: 34916" data-attributes="member: 2127"><p>Mikey--</p><p></p><p>I have never responded to your posts before, and have tried to read several of them to get a feel for your situation, but I just have to chime in here. Our difficult child became involved with drugs (pain pills) at age 16; she started initially legitimately, wisdom teeth medication, etc., but then she discovered that high feeling took away her emotional pain. She nearly died of an overdose (not intentional, just took the wrong "mix" of pills) at 16. We tried to get her inpatient help, but were told at that time that she was "not bad enough" ???!!! We were so stunned, our daughter, etc., etc. Unfortunately, we tried various things, including your ways and anything we could think of, and finally, at 20 years old, we forced her into Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or she could no longer be a part of our "physical" family, although we would always love her and care for her. It was the most painful, yet freeing, decision we ever made and it changed her life. I just wish we had done it in her teens. She was a dual-diagnosis case. She was not treated as a drug user first, emotional issues next, but both were treated at the same time with the same intensity and it was the charm. You may think his pot use is not the major issue, and maybe it's not, but being willing to put up with it, in my humble opinion, sends the wrong message. What IF he goes to prom, gets stoned, drives, then disaster happens, he is killed, someone else is killed, etc. He may be keeping his curfew, but he is still on drugs! Some of the worst drug/alcohol use is at prom. I know that we were not hard enough on her, we tried to "love" her issues away and it just doesn't work. Believe me, after been there done that, it will not get easier when he turns 18, the pain of having to confront him at some point if his drug use continues will be just as painful. Kicking out your child is kicking out your child, no matter what age, it rips your heart out. If I only had that time back, we would have been such hard***** on her. Yes, there were things we could not control such as what she did once she got to school, when she was with friends, but we could have taken her car, made it very difficult for her to get around, etc. Unfortunately, we felt like we could control it and make it all better, but we couldn't. </p><p></p><p>Hope you don't think I'm judging you, but after living it for 4-5 years, knowing that he had been smoking pot, but was home at curfew would still be very unacceptable. I absolutely understand you and wife being on different pages for awhile, we lived that, too. That really plays into their hands, so congrats on getting back on the same page!! Good luck on whatever path you choose, my prayers are with you and I'll be following your story.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Terryforvols, post: 34916, member: 2127"] Mikey-- I have never responded to your posts before, and have tried to read several of them to get a feel for your situation, but I just have to chime in here. Our difficult child became involved with drugs (pain pills) at age 16; she started initially legitimately, wisdom teeth medication, etc., but then she discovered that high feeling took away her emotional pain. She nearly died of an overdose (not intentional, just took the wrong "mix" of pills) at 16. We tried to get her inpatient help, but were told at that time that she was "not bad enough" ???!!! We were so stunned, our daughter, etc., etc. Unfortunately, we tried various things, including your ways and anything we could think of, and finally, at 20 years old, we forced her into Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or she could no longer be a part of our "physical" family, although we would always love her and care for her. It was the most painful, yet freeing, decision we ever made and it changed her life. I just wish we had done it in her teens. She was a dual-diagnosis case. She was not treated as a drug user first, emotional issues next, but both were treated at the same time with the same intensity and it was the charm. You may think his pot use is not the major issue, and maybe it's not, but being willing to put up with it, in my humble opinion, sends the wrong message. What IF he goes to prom, gets stoned, drives, then disaster happens, he is killed, someone else is killed, etc. He may be keeping his curfew, but he is still on drugs! Some of the worst drug/alcohol use is at prom. I know that we were not hard enough on her, we tried to "love" her issues away and it just doesn't work. Believe me, after been there done that, it will not get easier when he turns 18, the pain of having to confront him at some point if his drug use continues will be just as painful. Kicking out your child is kicking out your child, no matter what age, it rips your heart out. If I only had that time back, we would have been such hard***** on her. Yes, there were things we could not control such as what she did once she got to school, when she was with friends, but we could have taken her car, made it very difficult for her to get around, etc. Unfortunately, we felt like we could control it and make it all better, but we couldn't. Hope you don't think I'm judging you, but after living it for 4-5 years, knowing that he had been smoking pot, but was home at curfew would still be very unacceptable. I absolutely understand you and wife being on different pages for awhile, we lived that, too. That really plays into their hands, so congrats on getting back on the same page!! Good luck on whatever path you choose, my prayers are with you and I'll be following your story. [/QUOTE]
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