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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 105311" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>The system doesn't do anything right or by the book. Sadly, we are the ones who were told that our sexually abusive son (one we adopted from NJ) was a "good child with cognitive delays." With our autistic son we were told he had ADHD and we just waited to adopt him to get him more help. But we had our own insane social worker who tried to take him away from us. I wonder where they get these social workers. This one admitted that Lucas was doing great with us and that he was attached to us, but she was angry that we had adopted a baby privately without their permission. They tried to remove him because "he needs to be the youngest child in the house." Only his DCFS worker interceded or he'd have been gone. Now he is fourteen and his sister is eleven. They are very close, and Lucas (gasp) has made enormous progress even though he's not the youngest in the family. The system <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />. My recommendation, if you truly want to adopt, is to get an infant (it's a lot easier to raise a child from birth) and adopt overseas from an asian country (they take good care of their babies). I don't know if you have the money to do it--it was expensive when we did it, it's worse now--but in my opinion foster care is a very difficult way to adopt and usually the kids are really messed up. So many of the foster kids, even infants, are drug/alcohol exposed. Sending hugs and prayers in your direction. Hopefully they will allow you to keep the girl. It does not sound good for her to be with her brother, however I know that you can't fight the system. It's impossible. Really sad, I'm sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 105311, member: 1550"] The system doesn't do anything right or by the book. Sadly, we are the ones who were told that our sexually abusive son (one we adopted from NJ) was a "good child with cognitive delays." With our autistic son we were told he had ADHD and we just waited to adopt him to get him more help. But we had our own insane social worker who tried to take him away from us. I wonder where they get these social workers. This one admitted that Lucas was doing great with us and that he was attached to us, but she was angry that we had adopted a baby privately without their permission. They tried to remove him because "he needs to be the youngest child in the house." Only his DCFS worker interceded or he'd have been gone. Now he is fourteen and his sister is eleven. They are very close, and Lucas (gasp) has made enormous progress even though he's not the youngest in the family. The system :censored:. My recommendation, if you truly want to adopt, is to get an infant (it's a lot easier to raise a child from birth) and adopt overseas from an asian country (they take good care of their babies). I don't know if you have the money to do it--it was expensive when we did it, it's worse now--but in my opinion foster care is a very difficult way to adopt and usually the kids are really messed up. So many of the foster kids, even infants, are drug/alcohol exposed. Sending hugs and prayers in your direction. Hopefully they will allow you to keep the girl. It does not sound good for her to be with her brother, however I know that you can't fight the system. It's impossible. Really sad, I'm sorry. [/QUOTE]
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