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<blockquote data-quote="Just keep swimming" data-source="post: 105486" data-attributes="member: 211"><p>In our situation, our 10 yo daughter was adopted privately, an open adoption, with all the info "on the table". NOT!!! Bio mom lied about everything and anything so that a "rich California" family would adopt her baby and she could try to weasle us out of every penny we had.</p><p></p><p>Now with our 3 yo, she was adopted from foster care, was also prenatally exposed and abused, but is only showing a few delays at this point and really has no behavior issues that a "normal" 3 yo wouldn't be showing. </p><p></p><p>My point of all this, you never, ever know! Seems most social workers in CPS want to paint pretty pictures of darling siblings that "just need a loving home that they can feel is theirs forever". These kiddos have seen horrific things in their little lifetimes and there is no way to completely erase their abuse. But I have seen several sibling sets adopted by friends that are doing so well, under great parenting and lots and lots of support from friends and therapists. It can work! </p><p></p><p>How long have you had them? Sorry, I don't know your story. The system is so difficult to maneuver. If you advocate too much, they think we are "Munchausin" (sp?) If we don't do enough, we are neglecting them. Ask for evaluations, well, what do we know? We are only with them 24/7, HELLO!! The system sets us up for a lose/lose situation. </p><p></p><p>Can you find a CASA worker, someone appointed by the courts that can advocate for the kids (and you, if handled appropriately)? We had a wonderful CASA worker when they wanted to move our 3 yo due to a medical condition of our 10 yo. She advocated for us, loud and clear that a baby that has been with a family over 9 months has made huge attachments and that would only "abuse" her unnecisarily. Judge totally agreed with her.</p><p></p><p>Anyways, sorry to ramble on like this. I just wish the system would allow us to work with them and not against them in situations as yours!!</p><p></p><p>HUGS!!!</p><p>Vickie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Just keep swimming, post: 105486, member: 211"] In our situation, our 10 yo daughter was adopted privately, an open adoption, with all the info "on the table". NOT!!! Bio mom lied about everything and anything so that a "rich California" family would adopt her baby and she could try to weasle us out of every penny we had. Now with our 3 yo, she was adopted from foster care, was also prenatally exposed and abused, but is only showing a few delays at this point and really has no behavior issues that a "normal" 3 yo wouldn't be showing. My point of all this, you never, ever know! Seems most social workers in CPS want to paint pretty pictures of darling siblings that "just need a loving home that they can feel is theirs forever". These kiddos have seen horrific things in their little lifetimes and there is no way to completely erase their abuse. But I have seen several sibling sets adopted by friends that are doing so well, under great parenting and lots and lots of support from friends and therapists. It can work! How long have you had them? Sorry, I don't know your story. The system is so difficult to maneuver. If you advocate too much, they think we are "Munchausin" (sp?) If we don't do enough, we are neglecting them. Ask for evaluations, well, what do we know? We are only with them 24/7, HELLO!! The system sets us up for a lose/lose situation. Can you find a CASA worker, someone appointed by the courts that can advocate for the kids (and you, if handled appropriately)? We had a wonderful CASA worker when they wanted to move our 3 yo due to a medical condition of our 10 yo. She advocated for us, loud and clear that a baby that has been with a family over 9 months has made huge attachments and that would only "abuse" her unnecisarily. Judge totally agreed with her. Anyways, sorry to ramble on like this. I just wish the system would allow us to work with them and not against them in situations as yours!! HUGS!!! Vickie [/QUOTE]
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