Wanna see difficult child and me online? go to...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by buddy, Nov 2, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I was just looking something up online...it is early to think of this, but I know he will need guardianship or whatever the legal term for it is....forever. I was just going to look because I know lots of you have had kids who went off medications at 18 and he is already smrt'd by the state as permanently disabled and clearly is too delayed to be able to live without support.

    Anyway go to Arc Greater Twin Cities and click on the little tabs on the top.... the pictures rotate so we may show up right away or you may need to click on home, then about arc, services.....until you see a picture of a blonde lady with an african american boy (looking like he is signing the letter H) and the picture next to us is of our friends one with down's and her sister. We are not identified so no biggie for you to go and look.

    We are about 7 years older than that now. He doesn't even have glasses there and now he just got braces off, he is still cute as ever!

    anyone here have guardianship or conservatorship or whatever the term is for their child and medical/financial decisions after difficult child became 18? I am told by phn, social service etc. he will need me to do this.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Nice picture!! Now I will recognize you if we end up getting together in 20 days. I am REALLY hoping it works out.
  3. Ma Kettle

    Ma Kettle New Member

    Very cute picture. I have no info regarding guardianshpr, but it's always a good idea to look into as soon as you can.

    Hope you had a good day today.


    Ma Kettle, 40ish, married 21 years to
    Pa Kettle, 40ish, Type I Diabetes
    PCDDMary, 18, away at college and the sunshine of our lives
    gfgHalfpint, 15 (as of just last week) no diagnosis YET, breaking our hearts
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    me too. that would be so great! You will have to tell me what your schedule is and everything...
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    Oh, he's a cutie!
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    His school picture this year, he is really tan, has his thumbs in his front pockets, no smile but not mean looking...kind of gq Yeah, got the best of all of his heritages I think...smile. (I can brag because I didn't make him so not conceit right? lol)
  7. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    You will definitely need a power of attorney for healthcare-guardianship is even better. Otherwise, you are cut off abruptly from receiving ANY information at 12:01 am on his 18th birthday.
  8. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Very cute pictures!
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    ARC has a life long advocacy program to help work through all of the legal stuff like that and I am going to go thru their program. He will only be a jr in highschool then. He will continue in public school through 21, so... In any event, he is not going to be cognitively able to manage his money or make medical decisions, so there is no question. I do want him to reach the stars but he will need protection and support.
  10. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    He's beautiful!!

    Love, Esther
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    thanks everyone, I think he is cute too. Hey Esther, we have a little neighbor girl who is Esther. You hardly hear that name here much. It is a famiy name for them. She is very sweet so I smile when I see your name.
  12. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Seems like a great organisation and initiative, buddy. These are so important!
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adorable!! I laugh when you described this year's picture.-very similar to my difficult children. I'll have to look more at the website later. My son may end up needing guardianship as well. He too will be in school (most likely) until he is 21.
  14. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    We got guardianship of Boo when he hit 18. Very simple process. Get forms from county courthouse, get medical portion filled out by dr. stating permanent disability, decide which guardianship you want - person, estate, both - then take it to court. You'll get a court date. We had to have Boo "served" (how ridiculous is that, LOL), so I wheeled him over to County Sheriff's office, paid my fee, had lady hand him the papers. Boo was tickled.

    It was a slam dunk for us - people see the wheelchair and stop there, so even if he was Stephen Hawkings, we would've gotten guardianship. husband and I got up in front of judge - couple of questions (did he always live with- us, were we his parents, yada yada yada), and we're done. Did have to go back the following year for a followup, but that judge took pity on us and, after a few more questions (did he always live with- us, etc.), told us that we were done with- court and didn't have to come back anymore. We have an official form stating we're his legal guardians - important for medical tx because getting medication recs is a *nightmare*.

    Take cash for court fees and such. I want to say it cost maybe $125 total, between court and having him served. I also think I actually downloaded the forms from the County website. It was very easy and did not require an attorney. I think you can (and should) actually do this a couple months before he turns 18. Took about a month to get court date.
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    slsh, thank you! It just eases my mind. I was told that since I have years of documents showing he has been certified as permanently disabled, etc. that all this should be easier. I can totally hear my kid saying NO, I am fine...I dont need it, etc...but OMGosh, no way....it would only take a few questions (and maybe a math test like the one he just took where all the answers are 21, teehee) to see he could not manage himself. I was told that will help when I apply for SSI for him too. I will do all of that before age 18, thanks!
  16. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Very cute! And you're a beauty too!
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, how cute!
    Thank you!

    Someday, we'll do guardianship. I'm testing the waters with-my cousin, and eventually we'll do it with-difficult child in some form or another.
    Wish I had info for you but I think YOU will have info for me, when the time comes. :)
  18. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Buddy - we did explore the possibilities of getting guardianship of difficult child as he approached 18. At the time, he could present himself very well when he wanted to and we were a bit nervous about a judge agreeing that he needed a guardian, but his case manager assured us that with- psychiatric tx dating back to age 5, we'd have no problem getting guardianship. Ultimately we decided against it because... well, a lot of reasons, self-preservation probably being right up there at the top of the list. But it was a different situation with- our difficult child, and hindsight being 20/20, for our kid, I think we made the right decision. Didn't make any of it easier but I don't think anything would have.
  19. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Very Cool Buddy thanks for sharing ! Beautiful Boy you have !!!!
  20. buddy

    buddy New Member

    thanks guys, I think I should have enough documentation for it, and at least up to 21... but I mean, he tests so low and I doubt he could answer realistically if asked how he was going to support himself (a NASCAR driver, but one who can't pass a driving test, lol--trust me you do not want this impulsive kid on any road or private track!). So just thinking ahead.