HopeRemains
New Member
We went shopping for Halloween costumes last night. While we were in the store I caught a whiff of difficult child. We were having such a nice night that I just sort of pushed that out of my mind because we were leaving by that point and I didn't want a scene in the store.
When we got home, I motioned to husband that he needed to 'check' difficult child. When this happens, without fail, every time, husband tells difficult child that he needs to wipe better. I'll admit that sometimes he doesn't wipe well and gets the regular skid marks which I find and I don't really mention those very often, because they are much less offensive than when he's actually pooped his pants.
difficult child gets into the shower and husband comes out. The words I say are "Do you realize that this isn't just him having "accidents" and it's something psychological?". He's already frustrated so he gets defensive, like normal, and tells me that when HE looks, it's only skid marks. I know that's not true, because I've seen the evidence after it's been dumped into the toilet. You can't dump a mark into a toilet. ARGGG! I've had way more than my fair share of experience cleaning up or monitoring cleanup.
I've mentioned this before but he did stop with the feces issues for a year before he went to his biomom's for vacation last year, now it's back and hasn't gone anywhere. So I KNOW that it isn't a physical condition and his motor skills are perfectly fine- there's no reason for him to not wipe properly in any case. It is a psycological issue of some sort that the docs shrug off.
We are back to the smearing- the other day I found his bed rail AND the curtains just covered.
I guess the best we can do is keep on with the consequences and preventative stratagies, so it's almost nitpicky of me to be upset that husband won't even call the most blatant of issues what they are instead of 'accidents'. It's just frustrating in the moment and it led to another argument between us.
When we got home, I motioned to husband that he needed to 'check' difficult child. When this happens, without fail, every time, husband tells difficult child that he needs to wipe better. I'll admit that sometimes he doesn't wipe well and gets the regular skid marks which I find and I don't really mention those very often, because they are much less offensive than when he's actually pooped his pants.
difficult child gets into the shower and husband comes out. The words I say are "Do you realize that this isn't just him having "accidents" and it's something psychological?". He's already frustrated so he gets defensive, like normal, and tells me that when HE looks, it's only skid marks. I know that's not true, because I've seen the evidence after it's been dumped into the toilet. You can't dump a mark into a toilet. ARGGG! I've had way more than my fair share of experience cleaning up or monitoring cleanup.
I've mentioned this before but he did stop with the feces issues for a year before he went to his biomom's for vacation last year, now it's back and hasn't gone anywhere. So I KNOW that it isn't a physical condition and his motor skills are perfectly fine- there's no reason for him to not wipe properly in any case. It is a psycological issue of some sort that the docs shrug off.
We are back to the smearing- the other day I found his bed rail AND the curtains just covered.
I guess the best we can do is keep on with the consequences and preventative stratagies, so it's almost nitpicky of me to be upset that husband won't even call the most blatant of issues what they are instead of 'accidents'. It's just frustrating in the moment and it led to another argument between us.