Hi folks. Boy, this is wearying, isn't it? I was holding the line when Peter Pan blew out of his sober-house program, and I stood by in supportive silence while he went through the mobile crisis people, to the hospital, and back out of the hospital to mobile crisis's shabby "respite" center, where he could stay for 2 weeks to get his act together. Filled out all the DSS forms for him to turn in to get into the system, and he lost them. I finally traveled to where he was--an hour away from our town--to meet with his case manager. Spent most of the day there, insisting that I would support any reasonable plan that Peter Pan could come up with--another residential program that he could argue for with enthusiasm, a combo of outpatient plus work, a sober house, etc.--but I would not take him home to wallow in his room with no plan or productive activity. Finally we met with- the case manager's supervisor, who asked him what he wanted, and he said, "To come home and have her leave me alone!" At which point they gently thanked me for taking so much time and suggested that I leave, which I did. That night they sent him back to the hospital because he was too much "at risk" for the respite; but the hospital booted him out because he was not sufficiently "at risk" for hospitalization. They sent him to the homeless shelter, but the wrong homeless shelter. The people there redirected him to the overflow shelter, which had only chairs left for sleeping, and I got on the computer to help him navigate strange dark streets to the overflow shelter. When I called to be sure he was at the right intersection, a strange male voice picked up the phone, and I knew something was wrong. Sure enough, he'd been jumped, and they'd taken his phone, and he ran to a police car which took him to the shelter. Next day he turned up at the crisis center again, only by then the respite was full. I sent the case manager a complete list of temporary housing in our area as well as outpatient program options. Peter Pan spent the day making phone calls from their phone, and the upshot was there was no room anywhere. He was off his medications, hadn't slept in 4 nights, had eaten very little, had no winter jacket and no $$, and had been mugged. He also seemed to have made some efforts on his own behalf. So I paid for him to take the bus to our town, checked him into a cheap hotel--for ONE NIGHT, I kept saying, to buy him one more day to make arrangements for himself--and took him out to dinner. By the time we were at dinner I could tell every bit of the old entitlement had returned. He'd "won this round." He refused to talk about his plans, about why he'd gone off medications, about what he might do for a phone, nothing. I leave for a long-weekend visit to my partner's daughter on the other end of the country tomorrow. I reminded Peter Pan that he had been systematically procrastinating and creating panic, and that if he chose not to talk about his options now and then found himself without options the next night, it would be his problem and not mine. He smirked. Clearly he wasn't listening. Now I wish to heck that I had let him stay with the crisis-center people and done more time at the homeless shelter, mugging or no mugging. Thoughts?