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We don't know what to do 22 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 665523" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Fine. He has a job. He can now take responsibility for making himself and his life how he needs them to be. Good for him.</p><p></p><p>He is free to think whatever he wants about you. Let him. I would not let one word bother me. You did what you had to do. This changes nothing.</p><p>You did not disown him. You held him responsible. You showed faith in his capacity to be his own man. And he is doing it. It is working.</p><p></p><p>His making a fool of you and degrading himself in no way helped anybody. You are allowing him to be a person in his own right.</p><p></p><p>I will not allow myself anymore to be insulted or disrespected by my son. I restrict communication to that which is respectful, or I stop it.</p><p>To my way of thinking, his sexuality is his.</p><p></p><p>Does he have anything positive to say to you, at all? Is money the only thing he will accept from you? Is "yes" the only word he wants to hear? That is how it got with my son.</p><p></p><p>I think they get furious when the money/yes train breaks down, and feel that scaring us/insulting us will scare us into getting back on track. What your son is doing is typical.</p><p>Fine. He has the right to hold this belief <em>with his own children and in himself</em>. As long as it is your money or your house, you decide according to your values.</p><p>Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is boring me.</p><p></p><p>He has loving and supportive parents. He had every trust and advantage. He blew it.</p><p></p><p>Of course he is looking for somebody to blame and hold responsible...because that is who he is right now.</p><p></p><p>What you are doing is giving him the responsibility to change. To become somebody of integrity, of responsibility. Somebody ethical and productive. A good man.</p><p></p><p>You are trusting he has it in him to do this. That is your gift to him.</p><p></p><p>Your job is to ignore all of this garbage and stay centered on what you know. You know right from wrong. Ignore him. Look for ways to minimize the opportunities he has to insult you and to deflect responsibility from himself.</p><p></p><p>Good job. This is hard but it is worth it. Keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 665523, member: 18958"] Fine. He has a job. He can now take responsibility for making himself and his life how he needs them to be. Good for him. He is free to think whatever he wants about you. Let him. I would not let one word bother me. You did what you had to do. This changes nothing. You did not disown him. You held him responsible. You showed faith in his capacity to be his own man. And he is doing it. It is working. His making a fool of you and degrading himself in no way helped anybody. You are allowing him to be a person in his own right. I will not allow myself anymore to be insulted or disrespected by my son. I restrict communication to that which is respectful, or I stop it. To my way of thinking, his sexuality is his. Does he have anything positive to say to you, at all? Is money the only thing he will accept from you? Is "yes" the only word he wants to hear? That is how it got with my son. I think they get furious when the money/yes train breaks down, and feel that scaring us/insulting us will scare us into getting back on track. What your son is doing is typical. Fine. He has the right to hold this belief [I]with his own children and in himself[/I]. As long as it is your money or your house, you decide according to your values. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is boring me. He has loving and supportive parents. He had every trust and advantage. He blew it. Of course he is looking for somebody to blame and hold responsible...because that is who he is right now. What you are doing is giving him the responsibility to change. To become somebody of integrity, of responsibility. Somebody ethical and productive. A good man. You are trusting he has it in him to do this. That is your gift to him. Your job is to ignore all of this garbage and stay centered on what you know. You know right from wrong. Ignore him. Look for ways to minimize the opportunities he has to insult you and to deflect responsibility from himself. Good job. This is hard but it is worth it. Keep posting. [/QUOTE]
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We don't know what to do 22 year old son
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