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We don't know what to do 22 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 665756" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>What part of the responsibility for his life is your son's, given that?</p><p></p><p>We have one life to live, our own. We cannot live our children's lives for them. We were the best parents we knew how to be. At some point, the children must take over.</p><p></p><p>The way of seeing things for most people on this site is that we give the responsibility to our children and by doing this we give them the dignity and respect of being adults, and the potential to learn from their successes and failures.</p><p></p><p>Your son may have been trained by your prior choices to hold you responsible for everything...because you took responsibility.</p><p></p><p>Now you are changing. Of course he is going to try to accuse you and try to hold you responsible for all. You have a choice to accept responsibility or not.</p><p></p><p>This is a learning process for you, too. I wish it was easier, but you have an opportunity now to change, too, as does your son.</p><p></p><p>You are not being selfish or withholding. You are recognizing the potential and strength of your adult child, and giving him that gift.</p><p></p><p>I encourage you to start thinking of yourself, your own welfare. Because this will help him. By putting a natural and correct balance in the relationship between two adults.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. Why not think of starting another thread, specifically addressing your current feelings?</p><p></p><p>You are doing fantastic.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 665756, member: 18958"] What part of the responsibility for his life is your son's, given that? We have one life to live, our own. We cannot live our children's lives for them. We were the best parents we knew how to be. At some point, the children must take over. The way of seeing things for most people on this site is that we give the responsibility to our children and by doing this we give them the dignity and respect of being adults, and the potential to learn from their successes and failures. Your son may have been trained by your prior choices to hold you responsible for everything...because you took responsibility. Now you are changing. Of course he is going to try to accuse you and try to hold you responsible for all. You have a choice to accept responsibility or not. This is a learning process for you, too. I wish it was easier, but you have an opportunity now to change, too, as does your son. You are not being selfish or withholding. You are recognizing the potential and strength of your adult child, and giving him that gift. I encourage you to start thinking of yourself, your own welfare. Because this will help him. By putting a natural and correct balance in the relationship between two adults. Keep posting. Why not think of starting another thread, specifically addressing your current feelings? You are doing fantastic. [/QUOTE]
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We don't know what to do 22 year old son
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