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We met with-difficult child at the psychiatric hospital
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 189768" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Thank you all.</p><p>Fran, I have no idea what's going on in husband's head ... he tends to romanticize things so that may be what it is. He didn't have to face the day-to-day anger for yrs like I did. It's only recent with-him.</p><p>I like your ideas about need-to-know, not projecting shame, but protecting privacy.</p><p>husband and I talked about that a bit yesterday ... which relatives to tell, and mostly, who not to tell, for fear of a know-it-all-lecture, tons of useless email and links we've already read, blah blah blah. And we don't want people at school misinterpreting so we've been very careful not to tell anyone associated with-school yet. We will tell his teacher, but we're going to make it more of a medical issue with-educational facets. But that won't be for a few days. I want to just soak this all in and relax in the meantime.</p><p> </p><p>Amazed, Fragile X is a genetic mutation that can be found using a DNA test. The test is the only known test that can indicate a cause of autism. Everything else is behavioral. Doesn't matter if you eat mercury by the pound, there's still no real test for autism. I had ignored Fragile X b4 because difficult child is not a textbook case--doesn't have big ears, etc., but then nothing about him is textbook, and he's already in the hospital, so why not?</p><p> </p><p>Andy, I agree, we can work with-our illnesses, or use them as a crutch. That's a biggie for me. I have an elderly cousin, and a s-i-l who define themselves by their illnesses. They are very difficult to be around. To say the least. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p> </p><p>I'm looking forward to the mtng at 3 today. </p><p> </p><p>I'm also hoping that husband got some sleep and that going to church this a.m. helped him. He is very religious (I'm not at all religious), so I did ask him at dinner last night if he believed that God gave us difficult child for a reason, or if there was something he could get out of it, and he wasn't really on target with-his answer, just feeling badly for himself, struggling. I guess it was too philosophical for him at this point.</p><p>He's a "fix it" kind of person and this is one he cannot fix. </p><p>I was raised in a dysfunctional home, so in one sense, I have better coping skills. Also, getting professional help was something I always wanted as a kid but there was such a huge sense of shame and privacy attached to it, no one ever did. I couldn't help my mother, but I can help my son. That makes me feel <em>very</em> good. </p><p>Not that it won't be a lot of work, but I'm more than willing to do it. Heck, we've been working all along!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 189768, member: 3419"] Thank you all. Fran, I have no idea what's going on in husband's head ... he tends to romanticize things so that may be what it is. He didn't have to face the day-to-day anger for yrs like I did. It's only recent with-him. I like your ideas about need-to-know, not projecting shame, but protecting privacy. husband and I talked about that a bit yesterday ... which relatives to tell, and mostly, who not to tell, for fear of a know-it-all-lecture, tons of useless email and links we've already read, blah blah blah. And we don't want people at school misinterpreting so we've been very careful not to tell anyone associated with-school yet. We will tell his teacher, but we're going to make it more of a medical issue with-educational facets. But that won't be for a few days. I want to just soak this all in and relax in the meantime. Amazed, Fragile X is a genetic mutation that can be found using a DNA test. The test is the only known test that can indicate a cause of autism. Everything else is behavioral. Doesn't matter if you eat mercury by the pound, there's still no real test for autism. I had ignored Fragile X b4 because difficult child is not a textbook case--doesn't have big ears, etc., but then nothing about him is textbook, and he's already in the hospital, so why not? Andy, I agree, we can work with-our illnesses, or use them as a crutch. That's a biggie for me. I have an elderly cousin, and a s-i-l who define themselves by their illnesses. They are very difficult to be around. To say the least. :) I'm looking forward to the mtng at 3 today. I'm also hoping that husband got some sleep and that going to church this a.m. helped him. He is very religious (I'm not at all religious), so I did ask him at dinner last night if he believed that God gave us difficult child for a reason, or if there was something he could get out of it, and he wasn't really on target with-his answer, just feeling badly for himself, struggling. I guess it was too philosophical for him at this point. He's a "fix it" kind of person and this is one he cannot fix. I was raised in a dysfunctional home, so in one sense, I have better coping skills. Also, getting professional help was something I always wanted as a kid but there was such a huge sense of shame and privacy attached to it, no one ever did. I couldn't help my mother, but I can help my son. That makes me feel [I]very[/I] good. Not that it won't be a lot of work, but I'm more than willing to do it. Heck, we've been working all along! [/QUOTE]
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We met with-difficult child at the psychiatric hospital
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