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The Watercooler
we start counseling again tmrw
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 267937" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Jen, I really like the fact that you can recognize that love is not enough to hold things together. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Add to an already difficult past between you and boyfriend a few kiddos (some with issues) and it makes life very difficult indeed. Seems like you never really have the time to work out your own stuff, just between you and boyfriend, because you're always caring for everyone else. Then add your health issues and work issues. It's a lot and can easily become overwhelming. I can TOTALLY relate. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">I think that the ongoing theme is always that we have to care for ourselves better and sometimes everything else will suffer a little bit, though not catastrophically so. When we care for ourselves first and foremost, we're better equipped to handle the rest. Sometimes, we avoid caring for ourselves because, quite honestly, we don't know how. We've been caring for others for so long that suddenly when someone says, "Take care of you first" we're like, "Huh? What do you mean?" and "Where do I begin?" </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">*I hope you realize I'm talking about myself here* heheh.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Jen, go into the counseling with an open mind. Remember that it helps move things along if we can be honest with ourselves, the counselor and our partner about our role in everything. I went back to counseling a few months ago. H sees his own counselor. Now my counselor wants us to see a third person together. It's so expensive and to be honest, I don't know if I have the desire to bother. But I will give it this last shot I guess. I don't know; we haven't really talked about what we're going to do. I think H is just happy that I haven't started divorce proceedings and I still live with him. It doesn't seem to matter that our relationship is blah at best. Seems the one thing that drove us apart isn't even the number one reason I am unhappy in my marriage. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and send lots of hugs. Didn't mean to ramble off on my own stuff, haha, just wanted you to know you're not alone.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 267937, member: 2211"] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Jen, I really like the fact that you can recognize that love is not enough to hold things together. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Add to an already difficult past between you and boyfriend a few kiddos (some with issues) and it makes life very difficult indeed. Seems like you never really have the time to work out your own stuff, just between you and boyfriend, because you're always caring for everyone else. Then add your health issues and work issues. It's a lot and can easily become overwhelming. I can TOTALLY relate. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]I think that the ongoing theme is always that we have to care for ourselves better and sometimes everything else will suffer a little bit, though not catastrophically so. When we care for ourselves first and foremost, we're better equipped to handle the rest. Sometimes, we avoid caring for ourselves because, quite honestly, we don't know how. We've been caring for others for so long that suddenly when someone says, "Take care of you first" we're like, "Huh? What do you mean?" and "Where do I begin?" [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]*I hope you realize I'm talking about myself here* heheh.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Jen, go into the counseling with an open mind. Remember that it helps move things along if we can be honest with ourselves, the counselor and our partner about our role in everything. I went back to counseling a few months ago. H sees his own counselor. Now my counselor wants us to see a third person together. It's so expensive and to be honest, I don't know if I have the desire to bother. But I will give it this last shot I guess. I don't know; we haven't really talked about what we're going to do. I think H is just happy that I haven't started divorce proceedings and I still live with him. It doesn't seem to matter that our relationship is blah at best. Seems the one thing that drove us apart isn't even the number one reason I am unhappy in my marriage. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and send lots of hugs. Didn't mean to ramble off on my own stuff, haha, just wanted you to know you're not alone.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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we start counseling again tmrw
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