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Welcome Case 39
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 501526" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi and welcome. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am really angry that your adoption team put this on you. NO way at age 12 they did not recognize the signs of Reactive Attachment Disorder. Is she adopted through foster care of is it an international adoption? There are several others of us who have kids who are on the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) spectrum. Others here who have it as serious as your child. Can you move to dissolve the adoption? I truly have compassion for her but she needs intensive residential treatment and if she was adopted thru foster care, your adoption agreement should have included a plan for therapy including residential.</p><p></p><p>You can do a web search for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and here is a start:</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.radkid.org/signs_and_symptoms.html" target="_blank">RadKid.Org: Sighs and Symptoms</a></p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.reactiveattachmentdisordertreatment.com/ssi/checklist.html" target="_blank">Reactive Attachment Disorder Treatment, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)</a></p><p><a href="http://www.attachmentexperts.com/" target="_blank">http://www.attachmentexperts.com/</a></p><p><a href="http://www.evergreenpsychotherapycenter.com/" target="_blank">Attachment Disorder Experts</a></p><p></p><p><a href="http://attach-china.org/" target="_blank">Attach-China</a></p><p></p><p>I am sorry your family is living like this and others here have had to work hard to make their families safe too. Do you have cameras in your home? I wonder if there is any way you can go after the adoption agency for her care. Did they with hold information? did they prepare you for the likelihood that a child of this age could have serious emotional and behavioral issues. I had a social worker tell me once that since I was a teacher these twins who were starting fires and destroying the foster mom's home would be fine because I was some how better than the foster mom.... I asked what kinds of supports I would be able to get for them if that was not the case. They would not put any kind of therapy provisions in the adoption agreement. I did not meet the girls nor did I accept the referral. When I was referred my son they offered a larger monthly stipend and included monies for any treatment that was not covered by his healthy insurance. They knew even though he was only two that he would potentially have a life time of special needs (in part because he had just had brain surgery). When a known risk is there, and behaviors are there, LOVE is not enough.</p><p></p><p>I hurt for your daughter, she should never have been expected to do the impossible for her.... to bond to a family, until and if she responded to appropriate attachment therapy. And I am devastated for you and your hubby and other kids. Just not right. Attachment therapy is very specialized and those who are not fully trained in it can do much more damage than good. I am sure you already have experienced this.</p><p></p><p>I hope you check in.... I imagine there will be others here you can really relate to. In fact just recently there have been a few new members in your shoes. I hope that you all can link up. MWM is a valued member who can absolutely relate. I hope she sees your post.... She is very knowledgeable and caring.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 501526, member: 12886"] Hi and welcome. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am really angry that your adoption team put this on you. NO way at age 12 they did not recognize the signs of Reactive Attachment Disorder. Is she adopted through foster care of is it an international adoption? There are several others of us who have kids who are on the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) spectrum. Others here who have it as serious as your child. Can you move to dissolve the adoption? I truly have compassion for her but she needs intensive residential treatment and if she was adopted thru foster care, your adoption agreement should have included a plan for therapy including residential. You can do a web search for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and here is a start: [URL='http://www.radkid.org/signs_and_symptoms.html']RadKid.Org: Sighs and Symptoms[/URL] [URL='http://www.reactiveattachmentdisordertreatment.com/ssi/checklist.html']Reactive Attachment Disorder Treatment, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)[/URL] [URL='http://www.attachmentexperts.com/'][/URL] [URL='http://www.evergreenpsychotherapycenter.com/']Attachment Disorder Experts[/URL] [URL='http://attach-china.org/']Attach-China[/URL] I am sorry your family is living like this and others here have had to work hard to make their families safe too. Do you have cameras in your home? I wonder if there is any way you can go after the adoption agency for her care. Did they with hold information? did they prepare you for the likelihood that a child of this age could have serious emotional and behavioral issues. I had a social worker tell me once that since I was a teacher these twins who were starting fires and destroying the foster mom's home would be fine because I was some how better than the foster mom.... I asked what kinds of supports I would be able to get for them if that was not the case. They would not put any kind of therapy provisions in the adoption agreement. I did not meet the girls nor did I accept the referral. When I was referred my son they offered a larger monthly stipend and included monies for any treatment that was not covered by his healthy insurance. They knew even though he was only two that he would potentially have a life time of special needs (in part because he had just had brain surgery). When a known risk is there, and behaviors are there, LOVE is not enough. I hurt for your daughter, she should never have been expected to do the impossible for her.... to bond to a family, until and if she responded to appropriate attachment therapy. And I am devastated for you and your hubby and other kids. Just not right. Attachment therapy is very specialized and those who are not fully trained in it can do much more damage than good. I am sure you already have experienced this. I hope you check in.... I imagine there will be others here you can really relate to. In fact just recently there have been a few new members in your shoes. I hope that you all can link up. MWM is a valued member who can absolutely relate. I hope she sees your post.... She is very knowledgeable and caring. [/QUOTE]
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