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Parent Emeritus
Well, difficult child is gone.
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<blockquote data-quote="jamrobmic" data-source="post: 16979" data-attributes="member: 1412"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Coookie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I know I have to let go but I really believe that I will now have no relationship with difficult child.</div></div></p><p></p><p>You have the same relationship with him today that you did yesterday; it's just not the kind of relationship you want it to be. I don't think it's going to improve unless his outlook changes, and I don't think that's going to happen while he's living with you. I would quit trying to convince him that you and husband aren't being unreasonable, because the more you try to convince him he's wrong, it seems like the more he's convinced he's right (and that really sounds very ODD and very familiar).</p><p></p><p>I'm truly sorry, because I know how much this has to hurt you. I think making your child move out, especially under such negative circumstances, has to be one of the hardest things a parent can be faced with. At least he did have enough gumption to leave. He was probably just cutting off his nose to spite his face, but he did leave. That's a step in the right direction, even if you regret how it came about. I have a co-worker who has a 28 year-old difficult child. She says he didn't start becoming more mature until she kicked him out (at 19), and wouldn't let him come back (he had moved in and out a few times before that). He lived in his car for a couple of weeks, and it nearly killed her, but he survived. He's still a difficult child, but he's working and has his own apartment.</p><p></p><p>I know this is hard, but now he knows he can't walk all over you. I admire you for demanding that he respect you. Things couldn't keep going the way they were.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jamrobmic, post: 16979, member: 1412"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Coookie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I know I have to let go but I really believe that I will now have no relationship with difficult child.</div></div> You have the same relationship with him today that you did yesterday; it's just not the kind of relationship you want it to be. I don't think it's going to improve unless his outlook changes, and I don't think that's going to happen while he's living with you. I would quit trying to convince him that you and husband aren't being unreasonable, because the more you try to convince him he's wrong, it seems like the more he's convinced he's right (and that really sounds very ODD and very familiar). I'm truly sorry, because I know how much this has to hurt you. I think making your child move out, especially under such negative circumstances, has to be one of the hardest things a parent can be faced with. At least he did have enough gumption to leave. He was probably just cutting off his nose to spite his face, but he did leave. That's a step in the right direction, even if you regret how it came about. I have a co-worker who has a 28 year-old difficult child. She says he didn't start becoming more mature until she kicked him out (at 19), and wouldn't let him come back (he had moved in and out a few times before that). He lived in his car for a couple of weeks, and it nearly killed her, but he survived. He's still a difficult child, but he's working and has his own apartment. I know this is hard, but now he knows he can't walk all over you. I admire you for demanding that he respect you. Things couldn't keep going the way they were. [/QUOTE]
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Well, difficult child is gone.
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