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Parent Emeritus
Well, difficult child is gone.
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<blockquote data-quote="muttmeister" data-source="post: 17022" data-attributes="member: 135"><p>"I know I have to let go but I really believe that I will now have no relationship with difficult child."</p><p></p><p></p><p>I've been through that feeling with both of my kids in the middle of the "wars" we've had but, at least in my case, it was something that had to happen and, given time, they realized it. </p><p></p><p>The relationship you HAD with your difficult child was not working, for you or for him. He may be angry and spiteful and hateful now, but, chances are very good that, given time, he'll look back and see that you were right. I don't know if it will take a day, a week, a month, a year, or a decade, but the time will come when he sees that he was in the wrong and you were right. It is hard to hang on until that day comes but YOU CAN DO IT. For his sake.</p><p></p><p>Stop beating yourself up. You did what had to be done. It is not your fault. If blame is to be assigned, it goes to him, not to you.</p><p></p><p>There were times that I felt that one or both of my difficult children would never speak to me again. And there were times that made me cry and other times that I could consider it a good thing. They are still young and they are far from perfect but they did learn and they are improving. Sometimes you just have to do what you know is right and let the chips fall where they may.</p><p></p><p>Hang on...better days will come.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="muttmeister, post: 17022, member: 135"] "I know I have to let go but I really believe that I will now have no relationship with difficult child." I've been through that feeling with both of my kids in the middle of the "wars" we've had but, at least in my case, it was something that had to happen and, given time, they realized it. The relationship you HAD with your difficult child was not working, for you or for him. He may be angry and spiteful and hateful now, but, chances are very good that, given time, he'll look back and see that you were right. I don't know if it will take a day, a week, a month, a year, or a decade, but the time will come when he sees that he was in the wrong and you were right. It is hard to hang on until that day comes but YOU CAN DO IT. For his sake. Stop beating yourself up. You did what had to be done. It is not your fault. If blame is to be assigned, it goes to him, not to you. There were times that I felt that one or both of my difficult children would never speak to me again. And there were times that made me cry and other times that I could consider it a good thing. They are still young and they are far from perfect but they did learn and they are improving. Sometimes you just have to do what you know is right and let the chips fall where they may. Hang on...better days will come. [/QUOTE]
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Well, difficult child is gone.
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