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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 133345" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>My daughter loved to wear dresses to school. It could be -20 and she'd want to wear a dress. No problem -- dress with sweats or tights underneath. If she didn't want the sweats or tights, her problem. I'd simply remind her she would be cold and her teacher wouldn't let her play outside at recess. Her choice. I really do love natural consequences.</p><p> </p><p>I'd get the big girl schtick every so often. I didn't argue. I simply went to her room and started packing up her toys, little girl dresses, dress up clothes -- anything for a little girl. When she'd ask why, I'd explain these were all for little girls and if she was a big girl, they'd have to be put up. Of course, if she wasn't quite sure she was really a big girl yet, I'd be happy to leave her things out. Stopped several arguments.</p><p> </p><p>I truly hated the you can't make me arguments. Of course I could. I was bigger and stronger but I didn't want to teach her that bullying was the way to go. Of course, there were times when there was absolutely no choice but to be bigger and stronger because it was safety and/or health issues. For the others, I'd simply tell her I could make her but I wouldn't. I would then tell her what the result of her choice would be (inappropriate dress = being cold and no recess time; no dinner = hungry later; no doing her chores = no tv, park or play time until they were done; etc.). Other times, the result would be a restriction. Sadly, those rarely worked in our house. She'd take any consequence or restriction to get her way at any given moment. Being given the choice to do as she wanted with bad results or do something appropriate with rewards usually worked much better.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how miserable it is. Worse yet, the battles keep escalating and every time you lose your temper, she thinks she's won. It's a vicious circle. been there done that until I opted for natural consequences.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 133345, member: 3626"] My daughter loved to wear dresses to school. It could be -20 and she'd want to wear a dress. No problem -- dress with sweats or tights underneath. If she didn't want the sweats or tights, her problem. I'd simply remind her she would be cold and her teacher wouldn't let her play outside at recess. Her choice. I really do love natural consequences. I'd get the big girl schtick every so often. I didn't argue. I simply went to her room and started packing up her toys, little girl dresses, dress up clothes -- anything for a little girl. When she'd ask why, I'd explain these were all for little girls and if she was a big girl, they'd have to be put up. Of course, if she wasn't quite sure she was really a big girl yet, I'd be happy to leave her things out. Stopped several arguments. I truly hated the you can't make me arguments. Of course I could. I was bigger and stronger but I didn't want to teach her that bullying was the way to go. Of course, there were times when there was absolutely no choice but to be bigger and stronger because it was safety and/or health issues. For the others, I'd simply tell her I could make her but I wouldn't. I would then tell her what the result of her choice would be (inappropriate dress = being cold and no recess time; no dinner = hungry later; no doing her chores = no tv, park or play time until they were done; etc.). Other times, the result would be a restriction. Sadly, those rarely worked in our house. She'd take any consequence or restriction to get her way at any given moment. Being given the choice to do as she wanted with bad results or do something appropriate with rewards usually worked much better. I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how miserable it is. Worse yet, the battles keep escalating and every time you lose your temper, she thinks she's won. It's a vicious circle. been there done that until I opted for natural consequences. [/QUOTE]
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