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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 133431" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Susie's got it in one. Let her wear what she wants. make your suggestion, if she ignores it then she will be cold. But if you let it escalate to the point where she will feel she HAS to oppose you on principle, it will be much harder for her to come in later and say, "You were right, it IS too cold out there, I need my coat." And she will put up with it and shiver far more, just to prove you wrong. Not healthy.</p><p></p><p>So next time - let her put on her dress then go outside and see how it feels. Then tell her it is her choice, but most people, including her friends, will not be impressed if she's shivering too much to be much fun company.</p><p></p><p>As for "go to your room" - when it stopped working, we stopped doing it. If you have to drag the kid there and t hey come out of their room right away, it's no longer working.</p><p></p><p>What you could do instead, especially as you suddenly discover this isn't working, is to say, "You won't go to your room? Then I will!" And go to your room, shut yourself in and refuse to engage.</p><p></p><p>Or, to really twist the knife - go to HER room and shut her out, then begin to make sounds as if loudly cleaning the room (and finding all sorts of stuff she doesn't want unearthed). I'm betting that will have her pounding on the door to be allowed into her room. At which point, you have won, and got her into her room.</p><p></p><p>Now what? From here, it's up to you. We don't send to rooms any more, we just say, go somewhere quit and chill. and if they won't, then I walk out of the house and away from the argument entirely. I might go visit a friend and cry on a shoulder. And when I finally go back home, maybe after they've all supposed to have had dinner only nobody was there to get it for them, then I can assume the kid has chilled. Or been squashed by everyone else.</p><p></p><p>It's when you're not there that they realise they need you more than they care to admit.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 133431, member: 1991"] Susie's got it in one. Let her wear what she wants. make your suggestion, if she ignores it then she will be cold. But if you let it escalate to the point where she will feel she HAS to oppose you on principle, it will be much harder for her to come in later and say, "You were right, it IS too cold out there, I need my coat." And she will put up with it and shiver far more, just to prove you wrong. Not healthy. So next time - let her put on her dress then go outside and see how it feels. Then tell her it is her choice, but most people, including her friends, will not be impressed if she's shivering too much to be much fun company. As for "go to your room" - when it stopped working, we stopped doing it. If you have to drag the kid there and t hey come out of their room right away, it's no longer working. What you could do instead, especially as you suddenly discover this isn't working, is to say, "You won't go to your room? Then I will!" And go to your room, shut yourself in and refuse to engage. Or, to really twist the knife - go to HER room and shut her out, then begin to make sounds as if loudly cleaning the room (and finding all sorts of stuff she doesn't want unearthed). I'm betting that will have her pounding on the door to be allowed into her room. At which point, you have won, and got her into her room. Now what? From here, it's up to you. We don't send to rooms any more, we just say, go somewhere quit and chill. and if they won't, then I walk out of the house and away from the argument entirely. I might go visit a friend and cry on a shoulder. And when I finally go back home, maybe after they've all supposed to have had dinner only nobody was there to get it for them, then I can assume the kid has chilled. Or been squashed by everyone else. It's when you're not there that they realise they need you more than they care to admit. Marg [/QUOTE]
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