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Went to Far Update 3...
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 680432" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Good morning Skool Teacher...I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that. You sound like a very seasoned Warrior Mom. </p><p></p><p>My Difficult Child did much of the same for a long time. I have been told that he wants any kind of attention, even negative attention. He would ramp up the drama until he got a reaction from me. I taught him very early on that I would react to whatever he said, and he pushed that button again and again.</p><p></p><p>Finally...I started learning not to react and it took him a long, long, long time to stop that behavior. Even today, as he continues to progress, he will sometimes tell me how VERY tired he is blah blah blah. </p><p></p><p>Personally I don't want to hear all of that. I work extremely hard to have absolutely no reaction to any of that type of talk. Now, like you said, it just makes me mad, and I work hard not to show that either.</p><p></p><p>Is your daughter a drug addict? You said she took all of the pills very quickly. The drama and histrionics were part of my son's drug addict behavior. </p><p></p><p>Now that he's not using, he is calm and kind and days go by where I don't talk with him. This is very very good progress for us. </p><p></p><p>I enjoy talking with him once a week or so...even longer...and today he'll say, How are you Mom? Light years from the way it used to be.</p><p></p><p>I completely agree with you about hearing it straight from the doctors. If our DCs won't give us permission to talk with their doctors, all deals are off. I finally insisted on that boundary toward the end, and without it I would walk out. I didn't believe a word he said for years and years of very good reasons.</p><p></p><p>When we don't react (like we usually do), they ramp up and up and up and the stories get bigger and bolder and more dramatic. Pretty soon they're contradicting themselves in the same conversation. It's insanity.</p><p></p><p>I finally got to the point of believing and responding this way: If you have an emergency call 911 don't call me. I know that sounds cold, but you have to go to the complete other extreme----and stay in that mode---for a long long time in order to change the unhealthy patterns of interaction. I guess I just went numb and I was done. He had worn me completely out. </p><p></p><p>So...now you've talked with the doctor and have gotten the true scoop. Take a break. Take care of YOU. Let some time go by and don't respond to her calls, texts, FB messages, whatever. Set a goal of 24, 48, 72 hours...whatever gives you peace for a while. </p><p></p><p>We must carve out some spaces for peace during this long awful journey. Decide and stick to it, and spend those hours doing kind things for yourself. The world will keep on turning, and she can call 911 again if she needs something.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. We understand and we care. Warm hugs this morning.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 680432, member: 17542"] Good morning Skool Teacher...I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that. You sound like a very seasoned Warrior Mom. My Difficult Child did much of the same for a long time. I have been told that he wants any kind of attention, even negative attention. He would ramp up the drama until he got a reaction from me. I taught him very early on that I would react to whatever he said, and he pushed that button again and again. Finally...I started learning not to react and it took him a long, long, long time to stop that behavior. Even today, as he continues to progress, he will sometimes tell me how VERY tired he is blah blah blah. Personally I don't want to hear all of that. I work extremely hard to have absolutely no reaction to any of that type of talk. Now, like you said, it just makes me mad, and I work hard not to show that either. Is your daughter a drug addict? You said she took all of the pills very quickly. The drama and histrionics were part of my son's drug addict behavior. Now that he's not using, he is calm and kind and days go by where I don't talk with him. This is very very good progress for us. I enjoy talking with him once a week or so...even longer...and today he'll say, How are you Mom? Light years from the way it used to be. I completely agree with you about hearing it straight from the doctors. If our DCs won't give us permission to talk with their doctors, all deals are off. I finally insisted on that boundary toward the end, and without it I would walk out. I didn't believe a word he said for years and years of very good reasons. When we don't react (like we usually do), they ramp up and up and up and the stories get bigger and bolder and more dramatic. Pretty soon they're contradicting themselves in the same conversation. It's insanity. I finally got to the point of believing and responding this way: If you have an emergency call 911 don't call me. I know that sounds cold, but you have to go to the complete other extreme----and stay in that mode---for a long long time in order to change the unhealthy patterns of interaction. I guess I just went numb and I was done. He had worn me completely out. So...now you've talked with the doctor and have gotten the true scoop. Take a break. Take care of YOU. Let some time go by and don't respond to her calls, texts, FB messages, whatever. Set a goal of 24, 48, 72 hours...whatever gives you peace for a while. We must carve out some spaces for peace during this long awful journey. Decide and stick to it, and spend those hours doing kind things for yourself. The world will keep on turning, and she can call 911 again if she needs something. Hang in there. We understand and we care. Warm hugs this morning. [/QUOTE]
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