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Went to therapist appointment
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 284494" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I have not been in a situation like yours but I do sympathize. Reading your posts the parts that scream out at me is your fear of facing the future with-o a spouse. Many of us who decided to leave our spouses did so with reluctance and fear. Most of us did it to protect our children from a life in an environment without safety and a sense of wellbeing.</p><p> </p><p>My suggestion is to set a deadline for yourself. Perhaps it can coincide with the upcoming absence of difficult child due to camp. Make arrangements for alternate housing, see an attorney for separation papers that include the financial protection that you believe is fair and equitable and advise your adult children of the plan. Then inform your husband after the plans are set....do not discuss the plans with him in advance because obviously you are very motivated to stay with him and easily influenced to believe that his opinions are correct when they are obviously faulty.</p><p> </p><p>Tell your husband that you are leaving. Tell your husband (if it is true) that you hope it will be a temporary separation. Tell your husband that the homelife situation is too dangerous for you, your children and his daughter. Suggest that his daughter be sent to stay with other relatives (or stay with you if that is workable) during this time. THEN hand him the true responsibility for finding a solution for difficult child. Let him be a man. Let him take the steps necessary.</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile.......start a new life and rediscover that a sense of peace and safety is what life is suppose to be about. You can do it ALONE. Many of us have done it. Get your head out of the sand and do it. IF you are right and all of us are wrong, you have permission to come back and say</p><p>"See. I told you all you were wrong! This is how perfect life is! etc."</p><p> </p><p>Sending a prayer and a hug your way, with an extra for his little daughter. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 284494, member: 35"] I have not been in a situation like yours but I do sympathize. Reading your posts the parts that scream out at me is your fear of facing the future with-o a spouse. Many of us who decided to leave our spouses did so with reluctance and fear. Most of us did it to protect our children from a life in an environment without safety and a sense of wellbeing. My suggestion is to set a deadline for yourself. Perhaps it can coincide with the upcoming absence of difficult child due to camp. Make arrangements for alternate housing, see an attorney for separation papers that include the financial protection that you believe is fair and equitable and advise your adult children of the plan. Then inform your husband after the plans are set....do not discuss the plans with him in advance because obviously you are very motivated to stay with him and easily influenced to believe that his opinions are correct when they are obviously faulty. Tell your husband that you are leaving. Tell your husband (if it is true) that you hope it will be a temporary separation. Tell your husband that the homelife situation is too dangerous for you, your children and his daughter. Suggest that his daughter be sent to stay with other relatives (or stay with you if that is workable) during this time. THEN hand him the true responsibility for finding a solution for difficult child. Let him be a man. Let him take the steps necessary. Meanwhile.......start a new life and rediscover that a sense of peace and safety is what life is suppose to be about. You can do it ALONE. Many of us have done it. Get your head out of the sand and do it. IF you are right and all of us are wrong, you have permission to come back and say "See. I told you all you were wrong! This is how perfect life is! etc." Sending a prayer and a hug your way, with an extra for his little daughter. DDD [/QUOTE]
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