What about Preteens

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by growedup, Oct 22, 2007.

  1. growedup

    growedup New Member

    I saw sections on the forum for under 5 and over 18 but nothing for in between. lol

    I recently learned that my son was labled wit O.D.D. (Opositional Defiant Disorder)... which can basically be ANY kid.

    Apparently when they put this on him three years back no one thougt to tell me or the fact that we live in CA so I guess his records are none of his parent's business??

    I swear he is a good kid for the most part, other than when he is placed in public school. I've gotten compliments his entire life about how well behaved he is and well spoken, he is smart but wastes time on kids that are bad. Like one kid that would say racist remark, but can't truly be around it since hey were used out of context (improperly). So, I banned him from that kid and the list goes on, he attracts some real winners...

    Rigt now I have im helping my aunt and learning good old fashioned respect! He will be stacking her wood, pulling the weeds in her garden, and being reminded what respect is (she's in her 60s-70s? So it is the old time respect and not te stuff they are seeing on TV.

    I am confused what is normal preteen stuff since kids here can't even play tetherball, football, and anything that might lead to touching another person/child. He even got in trouble along with another boy for pretending!

    "Be who you are and say what you mean, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind."
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Who diagnosis him ODD? If you get a lot of compliments on his behavior from others, is it behavior at home that is the problem? How is he doing at school, does he receive special education services?

  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    If they're over 4 and under 18 and not on drugs, this the place to be!!! So, welcome.

    Another one who is wondering who put this label on him, especially since it doesn't sound like you have had any testing, etc.

    Peers can be a real problem. If you try to keep them apart, it usually makes the negative ones seem so much more attractive and worth the risk to see them without permission. What I did was talk to my daughter, explain the negatives I was seeing and limit access to only when they were well supervised. The other girl quickly got tired of being watched and moved on to other victims.

    If he is truly ODD, the old-fashioned forms of respect and discipline won't work. They are just things to get around -- either up front and in your face or by manipulation or just sneaking. It may work for a week or two because there is the honeymoon period but it won't make much difference in the long run.

    When you have the time, give us more specifics about the behavior that is bothering you. I doubt there is anything your son has done or said that we haven't heard before and, who knows, we might even have a trick or two up our sleeves that can help.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    ODD rarely stands alone anyways, but you're not really describing a child with behavior problems.
    I'm glad I don't live in California. Kids here play tackle football and all sports without fear of touching one another. That's insane. Can you be more specific? Maybe do a signature, like I did below?