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General Parenting
what are our thoughts on anger?
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 405185" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Hey, Jenna. I would think that easy child has had alot of family changes since 13. I'm not sure when you and Ex separated but that is a biggie. Based on my experience it doesn't really matter what the environment was like prior to the split..kids are traumatized and seem to lose a sense of safety. Of course Moms feel guilty but they know that the decision they made was correct. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sigh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sigh:" title="sigh :sigh:" data-shortname=":sigh:" /></p><p> </p><p>Also based on experience the family dynamic gets completely out of whack when there is a needy difficult child dominating the attention. Alot of times there is no apparent sign that the easy child is being highly affected by that and then WHAM! That's why I always remind new CD family members to get counseling with their easy child's. </p><p> </p><p>Then...again, based on experience...the introduction of a new husband is a major trauma in and of itself. I stayed single for six years. My husband is a kind, lowkey, soft spoken, experienced family man. My teenage easy child's were aghast for the year we dated and my son literally would only refer to him as Mr.X for <strong>two years </strong>after the marriage. husband and I made a point to avoid huggy kissy stuff when any of the six kids (all teens,by the way) were around remembering that the teen years are very sensitive to intimacy issues.</p><p> </p><p>Due to your easy child's age I think those three factors may have combined to make her feel like a fifth wheel and perhaps triggered heightened anxiety. A full neuro/psychiatric examination runs around $300 to $600 in my part of the world. I am a firm believer is identifying issues and employing the help available from a teen/adolescent specialist. She is old enough to buck. I hope that she doesn't. Perhaps she may embrace the individual attention. Fingers crossed. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 405185, member: 35"] Hey, Jenna. I would think that easy child has had alot of family changes since 13. I'm not sure when you and Ex separated but that is a biggie. Based on my experience it doesn't really matter what the environment was like prior to the split..kids are traumatized and seem to lose a sense of safety. Of course Moms feel guilty but they know that the decision they made was correct. :sigh: Also based on experience the family dynamic gets completely out of whack when there is a needy difficult child dominating the attention. Alot of times there is no apparent sign that the easy child is being highly affected by that and then WHAM! That's why I always remind new CD family members to get counseling with their easy child's. Then...again, based on experience...the introduction of a new husband is a major trauma in and of itself. I stayed single for six years. My husband is a kind, lowkey, soft spoken, experienced family man. My teenage easy child's were aghast for the year we dated and my son literally would only refer to him as Mr.X for [B]two years [/B]after the marriage. husband and I made a point to avoid huggy kissy stuff when any of the six kids (all teens,by the way) were around remembering that the teen years are very sensitive to intimacy issues. Due to your easy child's age I think those three factors may have combined to make her feel like a fifth wheel and perhaps triggered heightened anxiety. A full neuro/psychiatric examination runs around $300 to $600 in my part of the world. I am a firm believer is identifying issues and employing the help available from a teen/adolescent specialist. She is old enough to buck. I hope that she doesn't. Perhaps she may embrace the individual attention. Fingers crossed. DDD [/QUOTE]
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