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General Parenting
What do you do when the toxic person in your life is a child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Ehlena" data-source="post: 540207" data-attributes="member: 6097"><p>husband has gone up the chain of command, and they support the new social worker. So no luck there. I really miss difficult child's old social worker. She was firm but kind, and worked with us. I'm pretty sure this one doesn't have kids, because she just doesn't seem to get it. She thinks the only things we should do are taking him out to pizza and yogurt. Apparently he didn't enjoy the rafting (though he told US he wanted to go).</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure where the money is coming from. I think he gets deep discounts or things for free since he's a foster kid. I know they set up a meeting with a rock star who lives in the area, and the guy gave difficult child a signed guitar. Things like that. As I said, difficult child is very charming when you meet him.</p><p></p><p>We do run a micro-farm. difficult child asked to watch the slaughtering process. I expressed my concerns to husband, since difficult child has a history of cruelty to animals. husband thought it would be a good learning experience...and here we are. husband still has parental rights, etc. etc. I'll have to look into abandonment - I'd hate to get into another mess with this whole situation. I personally think we should only be doing supervised visits with difficult child, so there is always a neutral third party who can verify what is happening, but I know husband would never go for that :\ We don't even ask difficult child to clean up his own dishes - we just can't fight that battle anymore.</p><p></p><p>What I want to be able to say is "We love you difficult child, and hope you want to be around us again someday. At the same time, we have to protect ourselves. You have our number and we're here if you need us."</p><p></p><p>Ugh. We are struggling to know what is the <em>right </em>thing to do. I feel if we push the visits, difficult child will keep escalating and either husband or I will end up charged with something we didn't do. Again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ehlena, post: 540207, member: 6097"] husband has gone up the chain of command, and they support the new social worker. So no luck there. I really miss difficult child's old social worker. She was firm but kind, and worked with us. I'm pretty sure this one doesn't have kids, because she just doesn't seem to get it. She thinks the only things we should do are taking him out to pizza and yogurt. Apparently he didn't enjoy the rafting (though he told US he wanted to go). I'm not sure where the money is coming from. I think he gets deep discounts or things for free since he's a foster kid. I know they set up a meeting with a rock star who lives in the area, and the guy gave difficult child a signed guitar. Things like that. As I said, difficult child is very charming when you meet him. We do run a micro-farm. difficult child asked to watch the slaughtering process. I expressed my concerns to husband, since difficult child has a history of cruelty to animals. husband thought it would be a good learning experience...and here we are. husband still has parental rights, etc. etc. I'll have to look into abandonment - I'd hate to get into another mess with this whole situation. I personally think we should only be doing supervised visits with difficult child, so there is always a neutral third party who can verify what is happening, but I know husband would never go for that :\ We don't even ask difficult child to clean up his own dishes - we just can't fight that battle anymore. What I want to be able to say is "We love you difficult child, and hope you want to be around us again someday. At the same time, we have to protect ourselves. You have our number and we're here if you need us." Ugh. We are struggling to know what is the [I]right [/I]thing to do. I feel if we push the visits, difficult child will keep escalating and either husband or I will end up charged with something we didn't do. Again. [/QUOTE]
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What do you do when the toxic person in your life is a child?
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