Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What do you do when...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 178459" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>There's been some variation of this going on in my daughter's class since 2nd grade. The teachers tell me what they used to see starting around 4th and 5th grade is occuring much earlier now. In this particular class there's not been a lot of physical but a great deal of power play, manipulation stuff and the dominant girl is always switching. I kid you not--one day at recess my daughter was playing with her best friend and the dominant girl of the month literally picked up the best friend and moved her to a different location to get her away from my daughter and alone to herself. I also agree that three girls spells disaster much of the time.</p><p> </p><p>What I've learned is that in the end you just can't control the other girls. You can try and intervene with other parents, teachers, leaders, principal but you may or may not get results and you will have to make your decisions based on the outcomes. If this is your bff's daughter who is causing the problems you may have to make some hard choices in order to protect Duckie. I did talk with the teachers when things got really bad for my daughter and thankfully they did intervene but it only held for a time and then got bad again.</p><p> </p><p>What I have done is focused my attentions on my daughter. When she hits a rough patch I encourage her to tell me what's been going on and I talk the situations through. I coach her in appropriate responses and role play with her. So when she encounters "Your skin is too white, you need a tan" (starting in 2nd grade--she has beautiful, delicate, white-toned skin) I helped her practice responses like "This is the skin that God gave me and I'm very happy with it". When bullying extended to special needs kids when teachers weren't looking I helped encourage her to do the right thing and made myself available if she felt like she needed to report to the teachers. What my daughter has found is that when it comes to the direct comments, standing up to the aggressor appropriately has caused them to back down most of the time.</p><p> </p><p>We've had a lot of tears, cancelled birthday parties, and taken the summers off from playdates because of this so I feel your pain. But again, in the end you can't control someone else's child and often you can't make them see it from your child's perspective. What is acceptable in terms of behavior varies widely amongst parents.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 178459, member: 701"] There's been some variation of this going on in my daughter's class since 2nd grade. The teachers tell me what they used to see starting around 4th and 5th grade is occuring much earlier now. In this particular class there's not been a lot of physical but a great deal of power play, manipulation stuff and the dominant girl is always switching. I kid you not--one day at recess my daughter was playing with her best friend and the dominant girl of the month literally picked up the best friend and moved her to a different location to get her away from my daughter and alone to herself. I also agree that three girls spells disaster much of the time. What I've learned is that in the end you just can't control the other girls. You can try and intervene with other parents, teachers, leaders, principal but you may or may not get results and you will have to make your decisions based on the outcomes. If this is your bff's daughter who is causing the problems you may have to make some hard choices in order to protect Duckie. I did talk with the teachers when things got really bad for my daughter and thankfully they did intervene but it only held for a time and then got bad again. What I have done is focused my attentions on my daughter. When she hits a rough patch I encourage her to tell me what's been going on and I talk the situations through. I coach her in appropriate responses and role play with her. So when she encounters "Your skin is too white, you need a tan" (starting in 2nd grade--she has beautiful, delicate, white-toned skin) I helped her practice responses like "This is the skin that God gave me and I'm very happy with it". When bullying extended to special needs kids when teachers weren't looking I helped encourage her to do the right thing and made myself available if she felt like she needed to report to the teachers. What my daughter has found is that when it comes to the direct comments, standing up to the aggressor appropriately has caused them to back down most of the time. We've had a lot of tears, cancelled birthday parties, and taken the summers off from playdates because of this so I feel your pain. But again, in the end you can't control someone else's child and often you can't make them see it from your child's perspective. What is acceptable in terms of behavior varies widely amongst parents. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What do you do when...
Top