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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 123525" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>WTS - it was lack of homework being done that FINALLY got her mom to do anything initially. But that year is over and mom is back to square one, refusing to acknowledge anything, so we're approaching a similar repeat of history. You're right, she has no self-esteem, and she's starting to oogle any boy that will pay ANY attention to her, which also scares me. She has no girl friends.</p><p></p><p>Her mom agreed to medicating her for the remainder of her 3rd grade year. I also (finally) got her involved with an after-school tutoring group that year, and I took her in the mornings she was here a half hour early and the teacher worked with her. </p><p>Now the bad parts - this only happened for the last 2 months of school because that's how long it took to pressure mom into it. And her 5th grade teacher won't work with her before school (this teacher has young children - I do understand her side, too). Since she did "ok" last year, mom is refusing to medicate this year. And the teachers in this district say that most of 4th grade is review, not a lot of new material. My ex-mother in law worked in this district and warned me of that back when easy child 2 was in 3rd grade, during the first fight.</p><p></p><p>husband is her dad, yes. He and I both would like to get her more help, but we're really at a loss as to how. He pays child support, and with difficult child's expenses, we really can't afford anything like Sylvan, tho if she lived here or even if we just weren't weren't paying so much child support, we'd be taking her to that. We just plain can't afford it, and mom nixes anything we set up to get her tutoring at school beyond the one day a week we have her. </p><p></p><p>Honestly, the way things are going, we'd like to get custody of her, or at least 50/50, so we could work on this stuff. She's not a bad kid, but she's gonna be if we don't get on top of her SOON. But mom's parents have money and mom bullies them like any difficult child you've ever seen. In fact, mom's older daughter (not husband's) hasn't lived with her for over 7 years now, but the dad still pays mom support, he says cause its cheaper than fighting her to stop. But anyway, point of all that is, she can play a long legal game that we just can't afford to play.</p><p></p><p>I feel guilty for being angry with her because I know its just what she's been taught, but on the same note, if I just sit and take it, that just reinforces what she's being taught...</p><p></p><p>Just at a loss. (And can NOT understand why a parent would want to doom a child like this...all she needs is TUTORING!)</p><p></p><p>PS - she's had this paper back for several days, so she's been hanging onto this to tell me that it was my fault...she didn't just get it back at school today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 123525, member: 1848"] WTS - it was lack of homework being done that FINALLY got her mom to do anything initially. But that year is over and mom is back to square one, refusing to acknowledge anything, so we're approaching a similar repeat of history. You're right, she has no self-esteem, and she's starting to oogle any boy that will pay ANY attention to her, which also scares me. She has no girl friends. Her mom agreed to medicating her for the remainder of her 3rd grade year. I also (finally) got her involved with an after-school tutoring group that year, and I took her in the mornings she was here a half hour early and the teacher worked with her. Now the bad parts - this only happened for the last 2 months of school because that's how long it took to pressure mom into it. And her 5th grade teacher won't work with her before school (this teacher has young children - I do understand her side, too). Since she did "ok" last year, mom is refusing to medicate this year. And the teachers in this district say that most of 4th grade is review, not a lot of new material. My ex-mother in law worked in this district and warned me of that back when easy child 2 was in 3rd grade, during the first fight. husband is her dad, yes. He and I both would like to get her more help, but we're really at a loss as to how. He pays child support, and with difficult child's expenses, we really can't afford anything like Sylvan, tho if she lived here or even if we just weren't weren't paying so much child support, we'd be taking her to that. We just plain can't afford it, and mom nixes anything we set up to get her tutoring at school beyond the one day a week we have her. Honestly, the way things are going, we'd like to get custody of her, or at least 50/50, so we could work on this stuff. She's not a bad kid, but she's gonna be if we don't get on top of her SOON. But mom's parents have money and mom bullies them like any difficult child you've ever seen. In fact, mom's older daughter (not husband's) hasn't lived with her for over 7 years now, but the dad still pays mom support, he says cause its cheaper than fighting her to stop. But anyway, point of all that is, she can play a long legal game that we just can't afford to play. I feel guilty for being angry with her because I know its just what she's been taught, but on the same note, if I just sit and take it, that just reinforces what she's being taught... Just at a loss. (And can NOT understand why a parent would want to doom a child like this...all she needs is TUTORING!) PS - she's had this paper back for several days, so she's been hanging onto this to tell me that it was my fault...she didn't just get it back at school today. [/QUOTE]
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