what do you wanna do?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i sat here tonight as usual difficult child drama. def. dont have to fill you in there are about umm 3 other threads out there im sure......

    what would you wanna do with yourself that is, if you had the time away from your difficult child's? if you could regain lost time, make new time to do it?

    what would it be? your own personal accomplishments, whatever it is.

    i sat here tonight and acted like a normal person for five minutes and thought to myself wow the things i'd like to do and accomplish......

    i wrote a pitch a while back for a show tv talk show about kids like ours. got actual responses from different networks in hollywood was exciting, packages delivered had to sign for them. well it went nowhere because they said that i had to get an agent. i began searching for one and well i got married and this happened.

    i want to finish my stupid book i havent' finished. all about how to survive our difficult child's and every mistake i've made known to man. a dont do what i did book.

    travel more. i like to travel. not to ronald mcdonald houses' yet i like new places that feeling of adventures sort of thing

    i want to leave a mark that i was here somehow to help other ppl somehow in some small way, even if its just they learn from my mistakes regarding kids like ours, i feel like thats kinda my purpose somehow.

    deep i know....... :) anyone else???
     
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Career-wise, I'm pretty happy. I enjoy substitute teaching, and feel that's the way I'm leaving my mark on the world. My smile may be the only one a kid has seen from an adult all week...who knows? Of course, there are bad days, but the good ones far outweigh them.

    I'd like to do some writing; maybe childrens' easy to read books that aren't stupid, or historical fiction for children, collaborating with my mom.

    I definitely want to travel; Hubby and I have a goal to visit every state and see something interesting that's not well known outside the area. When we went to Cleveland, we visited the Hale Farm and Village, a restored town set in 1848, and it was absolutely fascinating.
     
  3. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    Jena

    have to think it what I want. I think you want to make a difference to sick kids (and have some fun in life too, lol). Maybe some of your frustration is that we mothers can only do so much to fix our children--either becuase they need help that we can't provide, because we are too close to them, they are too afraid, whatever. so you want to help your daughter and you want to make a difference but you are feeling like you are accomplishing zero right now. Wrote on the other thread, someone else needs to help your daughter right now, and you need to help you be you. Unfortunately life doesn't always make it easy.

    Probaby bummed you out. I want a few years free in life to see some beautifu places and live stress free. Help my kids but have them be able to take care of the basics from day to day. Enjoy some time with my husband. Just be free of the constant worry of what to do what will happen. Zen and the art of difficult children. I sure don't have it and this weekend I am beginning to seriously worry about how I am going to manage to deal with all the stress. I take care of myself,have some time but feel like I am on a collision course with difficult child and institution of school, then real life and laws...he is doing as well as he can but it isn't well enough to manage without getting into a train wreck. nOt helping either one of us here.
     
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I had my own disabilities thrown in my face this past weekend literally. Things I could do easily not 5 to 10 years ago are simply almost impossible for me. I loved to drive before all this junk. Put me in a car and I would drive forever. Coming home from Richmond this weekend liked to have killed me. It was only a 4 hour trip but I was in so much pain I was begging to stop halfway and get a motel room. I had to drive my car while Tony drove my Dad's truck back home. We had our own little caravan...lol. I had to stop about every 50 miles or so to get out and move because my foot was going numb as well as my back killing me. All day Sunday I could barely move.

    Now Tony and I are planning little weekend getaways for the two of us while I can still manage them. Some with Keyana and some without her. Just stop and smell the roses type things. We are realizing I might not be able to do things a whole lot longer.

    I had been thinking of taking some online classes but I just dont know if I am up to it. I do know that we plan on doing some home improvement projects around the house now. I badly need a new heating/ac system. Im hoping Tony and the boys can fix the existing duct work system so all that needs is cleaning and not replacing. In fact, I am going to go talk to a heating company in the next week or so. I will also be underpinning my home in the near future.

    Once I get at least Cory and Mandy out we may start on the remodeling of the house. I know I will at least begin to put Keyana's bedroom together. Yard sale, craigslist and freecycle will be my friends...lol. Also with all the tools Tony got from my Dad he will be building a ton of items for her room. Bookcases, tables and maybe a special bed. I went online to Overstock.com and saw such cute items that he can make for much cheaper than we can buy. I can paint them. Slowly we need to redo all the drywall and floors. Now that I have stopped putting holes in the walls, we can put up drywall and paint it nicely.

    I dont have major change the world plans. I just want to attempt to live quietly and enjoy what I have left. I want to see the kids be happy. I want to see Keyana grow to be a good girl who isnt a difficult child...lol. I hope we can have the kind of relationship my kids didnt have with my mom and I didnt have with my grandmother.
     
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I want to finish writing my urban fantasy/sci fi book that I started a few years ago. I wouldn't mind be a career college student. I want to work out more, stress out less. I want to de-clutter my life and learn to let go, even though it means losing the memories with the stuff (I'm one of those that if the object isn't there to be seen, the memory isn't easily accessible either, if at all). I want to see my kid grow up to be (in Dad's words) "healthy, wealthy, and wise," with an understanding that wealth means intangibles like friends and contentment, not money.

    Janet, have you tried free-ed.net? You don't get a grade, but you don't have to pay either. A friend here just found a used college textbook for her daughter online (amazon or another book site) for less than $1, so if you really want the books they suggest you can get them cheap online. Great for refresher or exploratory classes.
     
  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hmmm. There are dreams I had when I was young. There are dreams I had when I became a young adult. There are dreams I had when I married. There are dreams I had when my children were born.

    I always wanted to be on the stage or in the movies - I acted every opportunity I could in elementary, high and college and then outside of school at church productions. I wanted to be a teacher but didn't finish my college education but I substituted at a local Christian school and ended up running the children's choir and drama groups at church for years and then taught Sunday school 7 years. I always wanted to write - now I journal for my children and write a weekly blog.

    So some of those dreams, while not exactly what I thought they would be, have come to fruition. And I think that's kinda the way life is. You plan and then you deal with what actually happens in reality. Doesn't mean that you stop reaching for your dreams. Doesn't mean that you kick yourself for every perceived lost opportunity.

    It means that you learn to accept what comes your way and keep a positive attitude. Surely I have always wanted to be a teacher, but working with my difficult child, being there for him through the last seven years of gfgdom may just be what I was supposed to do. Maybe he was the one I was supposed to make a difference for.

    You know, Russell Simmons says "true wealth means you have everything you need". I think that is very true. It goes along with our dreams and expectations. Once we begin to realize that our needs are met, we can begin to turn outside ourselves and that's when things really happen.

    I like to use the work "relative". I remember seeing a picture on the front page of our local paper about 24 years ago. It was two men sitting on a bench during a really bad coldsnap. One man was bundled up with coat, scarf, hat, and gloves reading the paper. The other man was sitting there in jeans and a t-shirt reading the paper. The headline said, "Temperature is Relative"

    I guess I've always been an optimist and live my life with the realization that, in most things, the journey is what counts not always the destination.

    Sharon
     
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I don't want to be depressing, lol, but there may be some wisdom in my short post. I have spent 51 years parenting. I have had a career that I enjoyed and brought success. I have had easy child's and too many difficult child's and spent most of my time dealing with schools, Tdocs, psychiatrists, Department of Juvenile Justice, PTA and support groups. For over thirty years I have worked my husband's business which is not my cup of tea. Via volunteer work which I enjoyed I believe I've helped alot of people.

    Now ?? I realize I gave myself away. I'm thankful that I am healthy and able to work. I hope to remain healthy and have some free time while I am able to enjoy it. The moral of the story is, however, you can lose yourself by focusing on being the best parent, best wife, best family member. If longevity is on my side I'll probably hybernate and then come out in a flash of volunteer energy. DDD
     
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I used to write. I haven't done much of it in a while, but I think I'd like to do that for a living. Poetry, short stories...

    I like to go places, see stuff. I had so much fun at the RNRHOF 18 months ago! I love seeing new places, or going back to old ones and discovering new things.

    I'd love to take husband down to where I spent my first 14 years and show him all the cool stuff. Ft. Sumner, Ruidoso, Alamogordo, White Sands, Old Mesilla, the Concordia Cemetery, my old school, the Tigua Indian Reservation, Cattleman's Steakhouse... El Malpais, Mt. Taylor... Old Town Albuquerque... Mesa Verde. I miss it - but not enough to move back, just to visit.

    I'd like to take the kids too, but I'm betting they'll be adults.

    I want to see my grandparents at least one more time.

    I'd like to visit Scotland. Actually, I'd like to visit Canada - it's like a 5-hour drive and I've never been. I have been to Juárez, Mexico - but I wouldn't go, NOW, for all the money in the world!!
     
  9. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    If I could I would write a cook book. I love to cook and have so many recipes for things that we ate from my childhood. The kids love it when I make something and tell them, "My mom used to make this." Especially difficult child. He loves to eat things that I used to have as a child.

    Pam
     
  10. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Honestly, what I'd like to do is retire. I love my job and I'm good at it, and my career path has allowed me to now be in a position where I have a great deal of control over the work I do, teams I work with and my schedule. Still, I'm reaching a point where I don't want to do it anymore. I want to have the freedom to putter, try new things, or do nothing if that's what I feel like. I would like to return to dance classes, start playing the piano again, learn to play the drums, roll around on the grass with the Monster Tot Twins and Little easy child...
     
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im feeling really old right about now...lol.

    Can you imagine being in your 20's and thinking about what you would want to do with your life after you hit mid-life? You would have thought you would be planning your funeral...lol.
     
  12. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I had to re-evaluate a year ago when I got my cancer diagnosis. I'm OK now (as far as we can tell) but it got me moving on some of my personal goals. My writing is foremost - I have a novel to finish. I joined a fairly exclusive writers workshop, we meet every two weeks and have to bring the next instalment of our work to share. The standard is high so it keeps me working to my peak level. It forces me to write.

    Jena, you said you write - now, while you're in the situation, journal it. You will use it. It's the stuff with immediacy that is most valued by the reader.

    Marg
     
  13. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    That I have done, back when I was 18. It was like suddenly discovering I'd been homesick all my life and didn't know what was wrong until I found a place that felt right. I would love to one day own a cottage up in the highlands or the highlands/moors border.
     
  14. Jena

    Jena New Member

    wow great stuff!! I just came back to this tonight. you should all do exactly what you want to in some small way. Janet you did change the world right in your very own backyard. changing the world, leaving a mark is all in how you view it and where that change happens within the world.

    the rest of you wow great stuff and for those who did it, are satisfied and content good for you!! im on the road to that now. and pepperidge your sweet yet this wasnt about difficult child drama or me!! this thread was for us! to talk about all we want to do, have done or want to accomplish!! :) you didnt' bum me out by the way. hard to do that ya know....

    the writing the cook books. go do it! you guys i gotta say are a bunch of seriously well spoken and intelligent woman and powerful in your own regard. go write the books, janet get out there and go take trips with tony!! you can make plans at 80 as far as im concerned! you are far from old my friend.

    me im just planning on having a really big margarita wednesday night that i've earned, sitting on the floor with both my insane dogs licking me and just enjoying being back in my space again. i think i'm ready for the fire at home!! lol :)
     
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