Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
What is my problem?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 279800" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>A few things for you.</p><p></p><p>1) Try to not feel resentful or anxious over this. Sometimes even when jobs, homework etc are hanging over us, we need time out. Opportunities like this should never be missed. Relax and smile. </p><p></p><p>2) You don't have to join in if you don't want to. However, you need to stay out of it with good grace. A passive-aggressive will too readily see your self-exclusion as a passive-aggressive act in itself. This must not be allowed or any good from this event will be undermined. So if you choose to stay inside, then make it obvious you're doing it in good grace. Even if you're not. Stick your head out occasionally and make a point of smiling at the happy family scene.</p><p></p><p>3) WHen husband comes at you accusing you of being a wet blanket, give him a hug and say, "I'm enjoying watching you having a special moment with your kids. I tihnk it's wonderful that you can do this, wonderful that they are enjoying this with you. I could come out and join you but it wouldn't be the same. They need these moments with you sometimes, they get enough of me. So get back out there and enjoy being king of their world, at least for now. It won't last so enjoy it while you can. Don't worry about me, I've got my own stuff I'm doing for now. I'm happy with what you're doing - I think you're being a lovely dad to our kids."</p><p></p><p>ANd try to beleive it. YOu will feel better for it, he will feel better for it, the kids will feel better for it - and maybe when they come indoors in half an hour or so, they will feel much more relaxed about getting on and doing their homework. Or whatever. </p><p></p><p>Whereas if they feel cranky and resentful because there was a dampener on their fun, you will get less out of them in terms of productivity.</p><p></p><p>THis works. It really does. PLus you really can't manufacture those special moments. Good for husband thinking of this. But not good for him getting cranky with you. </p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 279800, member: 1991"] A few things for you. 1) Try to not feel resentful or anxious over this. Sometimes even when jobs, homework etc are hanging over us, we need time out. Opportunities like this should never be missed. Relax and smile. 2) You don't have to join in if you don't want to. However, you need to stay out of it with good grace. A passive-aggressive will too readily see your self-exclusion as a passive-aggressive act in itself. This must not be allowed or any good from this event will be undermined. So if you choose to stay inside, then make it obvious you're doing it in good grace. Even if you're not. Stick your head out occasionally and make a point of smiling at the happy family scene. 3) WHen husband comes at you accusing you of being a wet blanket, give him a hug and say, "I'm enjoying watching you having a special moment with your kids. I tihnk it's wonderful that you can do this, wonderful that they are enjoying this with you. I could come out and join you but it wouldn't be the same. They need these moments with you sometimes, they get enough of me. So get back out there and enjoy being king of their world, at least for now. It won't last so enjoy it while you can. Don't worry about me, I've got my own stuff I'm doing for now. I'm happy with what you're doing - I think you're being a lovely dad to our kids." ANd try to beleive it. YOu will feel better for it, he will feel better for it, the kids will feel better for it - and maybe when they come indoors in half an hour or so, they will feel much more relaxed about getting on and doing their homework. Or whatever. Whereas if they feel cranky and resentful because there was a dampener on their fun, you will get less out of them in terms of productivity. THis works. It really does. PLus you really can't manufacture those special moments. Good for husband thinking of this. But not good for him getting cranky with you. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
What is my problem?
Top