husband decided to have a fire in our portable fire pit tonight and cook food with the kids for dinner. They've got some bricks set up with an old oven rack for a grill, using my cast iron skillet to make quesadillas and rewarming some baked chicken breasts I cooked earlier this week, oh and roasting hotdogs, too. It's great that he likes doing this with them. But why do I just NOT want to be out there? I don't want to do the cooking. I don't want to supervise. I just don't want to be out there. And this isn't the first time this has happened. Maybe it's because I know there's stuff that still needs to be done tonight, like difficult child 1's homework! And I'm the one who will still have to clean up the mess. And I'm the one who will have to herd everyone off to bed when the time comes, make sure they're medicated, teeth brushed, yada, yada, yada. Is it just that simple? That I'm taking advantage of husband dealing with them so that I can have some quiet time inside before I have to go to work with them all again? I feel like I should be out there participating in this family moment. But I just don't want to. I did go out for a bit and fed the chickens some old lettuce while they were cooking and talking. It's still a teeny bit light out and it's nearly 8pm, but they're all having fun. I'm going to have to be the heavy in a few minutes because difficult child 1 needs to get in here and get his work finished. I'll be so glad when school is done. I think I relax more when there's nothing hanging over our heads.