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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 279909" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Chickie, </p><p> </p><p>I dunno. I know a lot of times in the past it's always been ME that did nearly everything. I did it because either DF would whimp out and tell me the standard "You're so much better at these things." (and I think yes but who can put the garbage in the herbie-curbie like YOU, who can put gas in my car like YOU, who can clean up dog barf like YOU) and except for that last one? ME....I can do it all. I don't like to, most days I don't want to - but I just do it. </p><p> </p><p>I also think that in my parenting this was a huge problem that I didn't recognize in myself until it was pointed out to me in therapy. If something wasn't being done fast or right or good - I seemed to have buttinski disease and rushed in to fix it fast, right and couldn't let someone else do it slower, wrong and innacurate. I really had to learn how to delegate and it was hard. BECAUSE it was a lot easier to do it all on my onesies than it was to illicit the help of a bumbling, frustrated DF and a short tempered, highly aggitated difficult child. </p><p> </p><p> They also got into the habit of me doing MOST of everything. And eventually I got resentful of both of them. The things that I started to do, just because I could do them faster and right the first time became MY chores, MY job - my problem. And I would sit back and think "HOW can I get them to do ANYTHING - they do NOTHING." and I only really had myself to blame. Given a chance to do it over - OH BOY would everyone be involved in EVERYTHING and would I have taken a mothers little helper or some damn thing to keep my nose out of it all. Seriously. </p><p> </p><p>My best advice in hindsite? TAKE TIME FOR YOU because if you don't take it few people are going to GIVE it to you because you get viewed as SUPER MOM - and SUPERHEROS don't get vacations or breaks because everyone is so dependent on them - they can't. </p><p> </p><p>I'm glad you got some time to get chickens......OH and by the way - I'll be pulling your iris this weekend. White - and with the leaves. THey'll arrive wilted but still plantable. I finally made it to the post office to get a priority box. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 279909, member: 4964"] Chickie, I dunno. I know a lot of times in the past it's always been ME that did nearly everything. I did it because either DF would whimp out and tell me the standard "You're so much better at these things." (and I think yes but who can put the garbage in the herbie-curbie like YOU, who can put gas in my car like YOU, who can clean up dog barf like YOU) and except for that last one? ME....I can do it all. I don't like to, most days I don't want to - but I just do it. I also think that in my parenting this was a huge problem that I didn't recognize in myself until it was pointed out to me in therapy. If something wasn't being done fast or right or good - I seemed to have buttinski disease and rushed in to fix it fast, right and couldn't let someone else do it slower, wrong and innacurate. I really had to learn how to delegate and it was hard. BECAUSE it was a lot easier to do it all on my onesies than it was to illicit the help of a bumbling, frustrated DF and a short tempered, highly aggitated difficult child. They also got into the habit of me doing MOST of everything. And eventually I got resentful of both of them. The things that I started to do, just because I could do them faster and right the first time became MY chores, MY job - my problem. And I would sit back and think "HOW can I get them to do ANYTHING - they do NOTHING." and I only really had myself to blame. Given a chance to do it over - OH BOY would everyone be involved in EVERYTHING and would I have taken a mothers little helper or some damn thing to keep my nose out of it all. Seriously. My best advice in hindsite? TAKE TIME FOR YOU because if you don't take it few people are going to GIVE it to you because you get viewed as SUPER MOM - and SUPERHEROS don't get vacations or breaks because everyone is so dependent on them - they can't. I'm glad you got some time to get chickens......OH and by the way - I'll be pulling your iris this weekend. White - and with the leaves. THey'll arrive wilted but still plantable. I finally made it to the post office to get a priority box. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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