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What kind of kid says he hopes you die?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 347331" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Robin - </p><p></p><p>Psychopaths and sociopaths aren't the same thing. I'd agree with my level of non-expertise for only having lived with a man who is pure evil and what is classified as a natural born killer without a conscience that they do exist, and experts even fail at picking them out of a crowd...but THEY know themselves. If you sat and talked to the majority of people in my x's family about him as a child, a teen and as a young man? They would tell you he was different, a little odd. But they would also tell you he was charming, intelligent, got his way. He's no dummy - he's just a scary individual. </p><p></p><p>With regard to figuring out is he saying I HATE YOU for shock value or does he really hate you? I guess there was an interesting discussion about that here a while back. Some felt it was a punishable statement, some felt it should be left without discussion as it would give merit to the statement. I fall into the latter category per a discussion with my therapist, but you have to understand with my son? He really has no conscience. So when he says I hate you, it means about as much to him as I love you. It took me a long time to absorb that fact and believe it because I have seen him with other people hugging, and saying things, and interacting and I think "He can, <strong><u>except</u></strong> with me." Truth of the matter - he can emulate with others and chooses not to with me unless I can do something for him, or he's getting something out of it. Again - the give to get mentality. What's in it for me? Otherwise it's a non-deal. Trying to figure out why, when it started, if it will ever stop? Makes me nuts, so I spend MY time NOT waiting (like you said you're doing) I spend MY time - detaching. </p><p></p><p>I'm not sure I could put into words what the last four months has meant to me, but I can tell you this...What my x did to me, and what he did to my son years ago? To have my son go anywhere near him now and want to have a relationship of any kind after what he now knows that man did to me? "I wish you were dead?" sounds like "Have a nice day Momma." Because the grin that has gone with his "I love you Daddy' comments on the phone in my house? Not even close to a slap in the face. </p><p></p><p>Take my advice please - use your time - and stop waiting for others to make things happen. Cut him loose, pack his stuff, and enjoy your life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 347331, member: 4964"] Robin - Psychopaths and sociopaths aren't the same thing. I'd agree with my level of non-expertise for only having lived with a man who is pure evil and what is classified as a natural born killer without a conscience that they do exist, and experts even fail at picking them out of a crowd...but THEY know themselves. If you sat and talked to the majority of people in my x's family about him as a child, a teen and as a young man? They would tell you he was different, a little odd. But they would also tell you he was charming, intelligent, got his way. He's no dummy - he's just a scary individual. With regard to figuring out is he saying I HATE YOU for shock value or does he really hate you? I guess there was an interesting discussion about that here a while back. Some felt it was a punishable statement, some felt it should be left without discussion as it would give merit to the statement. I fall into the latter category per a discussion with my therapist, but you have to understand with my son? He really has no conscience. So when he says I hate you, it means about as much to him as I love you. It took me a long time to absorb that fact and believe it because I have seen him with other people hugging, and saying things, and interacting and I think "He can, [B][U]except[/U][/B] with me." Truth of the matter - he can emulate with others and chooses not to with me unless I can do something for him, or he's getting something out of it. Again - the give to get mentality. What's in it for me? Otherwise it's a non-deal. Trying to figure out why, when it started, if it will ever stop? Makes me nuts, so I spend MY time NOT waiting (like you said you're doing) I spend MY time - detaching. I'm not sure I could put into words what the last four months has meant to me, but I can tell you this...What my x did to me, and what he did to my son years ago? To have my son go anywhere near him now and want to have a relationship of any kind after what he now knows that man did to me? "I wish you were dead?" sounds like "Have a nice day Momma." Because the grin that has gone with his "I love you Daddy' comments on the phone in my house? Not even close to a slap in the face. Take my advice please - use your time - and stop waiting for others to make things happen. Cut him loose, pack his stuff, and enjoy your life. [/QUOTE]
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