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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 354027" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I think the problem is, Janet - he does feel quite OK with himself. No remorse. Now, with what happens most kids would feel bad about what they did, but a kid who seems to fit this label has at some point learned how to switch off the negative feelings about his own actions, so it doesn't bother him any more. Or maybe it never did bother him because that switch was permanently in the "off" position all his life.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes these things just happen. Having grandma spoil him while you're not allowed to discipline him - OK, it doesn't help. But it is not the cause. If his grandma loves him, she should support you trying to get help for him.</p><p></p><p>And even though he is as much of a problem as you describe, he still needs to be listened to in this. Those medications he refuses to take because he doesn't like how they make him feel - he needs someone to say to him, "OK, we will try and find something else that can help you, but not make you feel so numb." He needs to be made involved in his own care, and that means that given the alternative - him refusing his medications entirely - it is better to work with him to find something he IS prepared to try. </p><p></p><p>He also needs his doctor to work on him to help him understand why he needs these medications, what they're for and what is going to happen to him in the long term if he continues to refuse treatment.</p><p></p><p>Other than this, I don't think I can help you much in practical terms because your system is different to ours in Australia, and also I don't have this problem with my kids (thank goodness!). But like Janet, I've been on this site a few years now and I've read a lot of problems like yours. You are definitely not alone and there is plenty of moral support for you here even from people like me who don't have the personal experience of what you're going through.</p><p></p><p>But there are plenty of others here who have been through very similar things to you (and others going through it now) so you will find, from them, much more directly useful advice.</p><p></p><p>Welcome.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 354027, member: 1991"] I think the problem is, Janet - he does feel quite OK with himself. No remorse. Now, with what happens most kids would feel bad about what they did, but a kid who seems to fit this label has at some point learned how to switch off the negative feelings about his own actions, so it doesn't bother him any more. Or maybe it never did bother him because that switch was permanently in the "off" position all his life. Sometimes these things just happen. Having grandma spoil him while you're not allowed to discipline him - OK, it doesn't help. But it is not the cause. If his grandma loves him, she should support you trying to get help for him. And even though he is as much of a problem as you describe, he still needs to be listened to in this. Those medications he refuses to take because he doesn't like how they make him feel - he needs someone to say to him, "OK, we will try and find something else that can help you, but not make you feel so numb." He needs to be made involved in his own care, and that means that given the alternative - him refusing his medications entirely - it is better to work with him to find something he IS prepared to try. He also needs his doctor to work on him to help him understand why he needs these medications, what they're for and what is going to happen to him in the long term if he continues to refuse treatment. Other than this, I don't think I can help you much in practical terms because your system is different to ours in Australia, and also I don't have this problem with my kids (thank goodness!). But like Janet, I've been on this site a few years now and I've read a lot of problems like yours. You are definitely not alone and there is plenty of moral support for you here even from people like me who don't have the personal experience of what you're going through. But there are plenty of others here who have been through very similar things to you (and others going through it now) so you will find, from them, much more directly useful advice. Welcome. Marg [/QUOTE]
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