Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
what now?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="awhitman" data-source="post: 354063"><p>This is all very helpful to me, for his whole life i have been thinking that daniel has just had a rough time and as soon as i could get him out of the situation we were in and into a normal family that he would straighten out.</p><p> </p><p> he saw my ex husband abuse physically and verbally, etc. once my exhusband tried to break my foot and as terrified as he was of his father he stood up to him and told him to leave his mother alone! and my exhusband then turned on daniel and i had to send daniel to his room because i was afraid he would hurt daniel. my ex followed daniel and i had to start screaming at the ex to get his attention back on me.</p><p> </p><p>at school he had major problems. he has dyslexia and so it was almost impossible for daniel to learn to read. i worked with him and tried to help him but it was so frustrating! and the school was absolutely no help. they refused to diagnose him as dyslexic because it meant that they would have to spend money to help him. they chose to believe it was my fault for not helping him enough. because of all that he decided that he was stupid because he just couldnt get it like the other kids. </p><p> </p><p>he started having behaivioral problems at school and i got calls all the time from the school. he told me a few weeks ago that he actually started wanting to fight other kids and he enjoyed the feeling of someone punching him and him punching them</p><p> </p><p>.when i left my exhusband daniel was 13. i guess it was too late and he had seen too much and lived through too much because the behaivior continued and got worse. i was working hard and trying to take care of three children and a few times after i would go to sleep at night he would leave our apartment and go running all over the city with one of his delinquent friends from midnight to around five oclock.he started stealing from me also and smoking cigarettes. </p><p> </p><p>after he came back from the treatment facility i had gotten married and moved. to make it easier for him to transition into a new school i went out and bought him a new wardrobe with all the brand name clothing. he did well for a few months. he made friends quickly. but soon his new friends shunned him because he started acting out at school. so he started hanging out with troublemakers. he said he feels more comfortable with outsiders. </p><p> </p><p>The damage is done now. i really tried to do all i could to get away from the ex sooner. its hard when you have three children and daycare is so expensive you realize you wont be able to support your family. also my mother and father would not let me live with them even though they knew what was going on. i think my mother tried to make it up to daniel by continuing to lavish him with affection and gifts. </p><p> </p><p>Now that he lives with me and my new husband and we are good to each other i expected daniel to change. that was a little too much to expect. his behaivior cannot change just like that. its all a matter of changing the direction of my attention. to switching gears. the problem is no longer the situation. Daniel needs help, professional help. i see that now. </p><p> </p><p>my heart is broken for him. somewhere inside i know there is still that small child with a big heart. he has just buried that person. i will talk to the po tomorrow and ask her about recommending a good psychologist. I will attempt now with everything i have to get him help. thank you for your posts, its good to get opinions from others to set you in the right direction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="awhitman, post: 354063"] This is all very helpful to me, for his whole life i have been thinking that daniel has just had a rough time and as soon as i could get him out of the situation we were in and into a normal family that he would straighten out. he saw my ex husband abuse physically and verbally, etc. once my exhusband tried to break my foot and as terrified as he was of his father he stood up to him and told him to leave his mother alone! and my exhusband then turned on daniel and i had to send daniel to his room because i was afraid he would hurt daniel. my ex followed daniel and i had to start screaming at the ex to get his attention back on me. at school he had major problems. he has dyslexia and so it was almost impossible for daniel to learn to read. i worked with him and tried to help him but it was so frustrating! and the school was absolutely no help. they refused to diagnose him as dyslexic because it meant that they would have to spend money to help him. they chose to believe it was my fault for not helping him enough. because of all that he decided that he was stupid because he just couldnt get it like the other kids. he started having behaivioral problems at school and i got calls all the time from the school. he told me a few weeks ago that he actually started wanting to fight other kids and he enjoyed the feeling of someone punching him and him punching them .when i left my exhusband daniel was 13. i guess it was too late and he had seen too much and lived through too much because the behaivior continued and got worse. i was working hard and trying to take care of three children and a few times after i would go to sleep at night he would leave our apartment and go running all over the city with one of his delinquent friends from midnight to around five oclock.he started stealing from me also and smoking cigarettes. after he came back from the treatment facility i had gotten married and moved. to make it easier for him to transition into a new school i went out and bought him a new wardrobe with all the brand name clothing. he did well for a few months. he made friends quickly. but soon his new friends shunned him because he started acting out at school. so he started hanging out with troublemakers. he said he feels more comfortable with outsiders. The damage is done now. i really tried to do all i could to get away from the ex sooner. its hard when you have three children and daycare is so expensive you realize you wont be able to support your family. also my mother and father would not let me live with them even though they knew what was going on. i think my mother tried to make it up to daniel by continuing to lavish him with affection and gifts. Now that he lives with me and my new husband and we are good to each other i expected daniel to change. that was a little too much to expect. his behaivior cannot change just like that. its all a matter of changing the direction of my attention. to switching gears. the problem is no longer the situation. Daniel needs help, professional help. i see that now. my heart is broken for him. somewhere inside i know there is still that small child with a big heart. he has just buried that person. i will talk to the po tomorrow and ask her about recommending a good psychologist. I will attempt now with everything i have to get him help. thank you for your posts, its good to get opinions from others to set you in the right direction. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
what now?
Top