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<blockquote data-quote="awhitman" data-source="post: 354113"><p>i read some stuff about children who are abused a long time ago. kids tend to act in certain ways when they are exposed to abuse. one of the things that can happen is that the child begins to identify with the abuser. the child may hurt his siblings or animals. </p><p> </p><p>i cant remember all the stuff that i read but i remember that i was horrified. i didnt think that the abuse would affect him as much as it did because it was directed at me and i always intervened if the ex started after any of the children. that is why i guess i blamed myself for his behaivior and tried to modify his environment to the point that he could act more normal. because according to this information i got he WAS acting normally, for a child who lives in an abusive home. </p><p> </p><p>now he no longer lives in that situation but i guess it was so traumatic for him its kinda like post traumatic stress disorder. but the other thing is that he knows that he has been through a lot more than other kids so he uses that as an excuse to do whatever he wants. he can always say, well i dont know why i did that, maybe its because of (x) bad thing. like i dont know why i threw my sister across the room. i guess she just made me mad and i just cant control myself because i have all this anger inside and i just lose it.</p><p> </p><p> i can believe that to some extent this is true but now he is so much more sinister and manipulative. he has just decided that he doesnt care. period. he doesnt care about me, his grandma, his brother or sister. he cares about nothing, no one. he gets angry and he gives this look. the first time you see it / it scares you to death. its a look like i could kill you right now and feel NOTHING. and i would enjoy it. really cold. </p><p> </p><p>im kinda torn between feeling sorry for him/ hoping for him/ and wanting to tuck tail and run run run. its confusing</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="awhitman, post: 354113"] i read some stuff about children who are abused a long time ago. kids tend to act in certain ways when they are exposed to abuse. one of the things that can happen is that the child begins to identify with the abuser. the child may hurt his siblings or animals. i cant remember all the stuff that i read but i remember that i was horrified. i didnt think that the abuse would affect him as much as it did because it was directed at me and i always intervened if the ex started after any of the children. that is why i guess i blamed myself for his behaivior and tried to modify his environment to the point that he could act more normal. because according to this information i got he WAS acting normally, for a child who lives in an abusive home. now he no longer lives in that situation but i guess it was so traumatic for him its kinda like post traumatic stress disorder. but the other thing is that he knows that he has been through a lot more than other kids so he uses that as an excuse to do whatever he wants. he can always say, well i dont know why i did that, maybe its because of (x) bad thing. like i dont know why i threw my sister across the room. i guess she just made me mad and i just cant control myself because i have all this anger inside and i just lose it. i can believe that to some extent this is true but now he is so much more sinister and manipulative. he has just decided that he doesnt care. period. he doesnt care about me, his grandma, his brother or sister. he cares about nothing, no one. he gets angry and he gives this look. the first time you see it / it scares you to death. its a look like i could kill you right now and feel NOTHING. and i would enjoy it. really cold. im kinda torn between feeling sorry for him/ hoping for him/ and wanting to tuck tail and run run run. its confusing [/QUOTE]
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