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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 354206" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>Yes, I've had more than one therapist tell me that witnessing abuse can have the same effect, or worse, as receiving abuse.</p><p></p><p>I watched my father abuse my brother and he was always screaming at my mom. To this day, men being loud - even if it's not anger - unsettles me. Men being angry in a confrontational way sets me into panic and I'm not the flight type of adrenaline. But, I am certainly in panic and probably look pretty crazy.</p><p></p><p>My son's father was abusive to me. I left him when easy child was 2 and went right into another abusive marriage. I left that when easy child was 5 and difficult child was 18 months. easy child would get between me and 2nd husband and tell him to "leave my mommy alone". The night I called the police on 2nd husband was because he was choking me on the bed and difficult child was lying right beside me.</p><p></p><p>difficult child was always exceptionally needy. I have no doubt that had an effect on her. From what I've read and talked to professionals about, is that when children experience trauma when they are preverbal they remember the feeling, but they didn't have words for it then, so they don't have words for it now. And it can be anything that is a trigger - a tone, a color, a smell. It's really hard to identify.</p><p></p><p>easy child doesn't have much memory of anything from the ages of 5-12 or so.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 354206, member: 7083"] Yes, I've had more than one therapist tell me that witnessing abuse can have the same effect, or worse, as receiving abuse. I watched my father abuse my brother and he was always screaming at my mom. To this day, men being loud - even if it's not anger - unsettles me. Men being angry in a confrontational way sets me into panic and I'm not the flight type of adrenaline. But, I am certainly in panic and probably look pretty crazy. My son's father was abusive to me. I left him when easy child was 2 and went right into another abusive marriage. I left that when easy child was 5 and difficult child was 18 months. easy child would get between me and 2nd husband and tell him to "leave my mommy alone". The night I called the police on 2nd husband was because he was choking me on the bed and difficult child was lying right beside me. difficult child was always exceptionally needy. I have no doubt that had an effect on her. From what I've read and talked to professionals about, is that when children experience trauma when they are preverbal they remember the feeling, but they didn't have words for it then, so they don't have words for it now. And it can be anything that is a trigger - a tone, a color, a smell. It's really hard to identify. easy child doesn't have much memory of anything from the ages of 5-12 or so. [/QUOTE]
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