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<blockquote data-quote="awhitman" data-source="post: 354266"><p>I am so glad that someone else has gone through the abuse. I was a little embarrassed because everyone here seems so normal and never talks about problems they had like that. It is impolite in many people's eyes to talk about such a thing. In other's eyes it is unacceptable. When one of my co workers found out she said immediately (with disgust) how do you even get yourself into something like that? I had almost convinced myself not to ever come back to the forum because the next thing posted i was sure was going to be really mean and i would be crushed. I was anxious about it all day. Thank you !!!<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p> </p><p>Daniel has been to a Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) for sexual offenders. My ex husband told dcs about daniel and his sister pretending to have sex. They did not actually do anything / she is still a virgin. I was upset when i discovered them but i remember being curious at that age too. They were punished and given a lecture and separated from then on. Two years later the ex told d.c.s. and they took my two younger children and gave them to the ex. Sent daniel to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for sexual offenders. They concentrated on the aberrant sexual behaivior. He saw a psychiatrist once a week one on one and once a week in group therapy. I dont know how much good it did. Daniel said he learned a lot of things. </p><p> </p><p>I just got off the phone with daniel. he wanted his radio. he says he wants to stay at this juvenille facility. He seems happy there. I think maybe it is exactly what he needs. If he is affected by all this abuse he will not feel safe with me no matter who i am with. At the facility he seems to feel safe. He does not have as much depression because there are other kids there that he identifies with. He will not have as much issues in the alternative school because he does better in an alternative learning environment where all the work is classwork. </p><p> </p><p>The only unresolved large problem is the anger. That may come out and cause him a problem. If the judge allows him to stay at this facility i will try to request that he see a psychologist too.</p><p> </p><p>As for daniel's father he refused to see a psychologist vehemently. He was a man's man who enjoyed the company of other men. He was home maybe two nights a month with his family. the rest of the time he either went "coon hunting" or went to the fire hall to hang out. He had a hero complex. He needed constant affirmation from others. He was abused as a child. He started working when he was nine years old. His family was dirt poor. He would give his shirt off his back to someone else ... and brag about that for the rest of his life. But he would not fix the most dangerous of problems for his own family. For instance a light fixture that was dangling by wires in the children's room (they had bunk beds and could reach out and touch the wires) amongst many other things. i wont bore you with it ALL. </p><p> </p><p>When he was home he was angry. If he was angry it was over NOTHING. He was always right, he has never done anything wrong in his life. He feels the need to impress everyone. He flaunts money he does not have. He has to be in total control of everyone and everything. The driving force behind that need is fear. His mother has some kind of serious mental problem. Her father was certifiably nuts and had a bad temper.(understatement) </p><p> </p><p>Yeah, something is definately going on in his family. in my family my mother is a very controlling person. I think she might have a disorder. I dont know what it is but whatever it is she is not normal.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="awhitman, post: 354266"] I am so glad that someone else has gone through the abuse. I was a little embarrassed because everyone here seems so normal and never talks about problems they had like that. It is impolite in many people's eyes to talk about such a thing. In other's eyes it is unacceptable. When one of my co workers found out she said immediately (with disgust) how do you even get yourself into something like that? I had almost convinced myself not to ever come back to the forum because the next thing posted i was sure was going to be really mean and i would be crushed. I was anxious about it all day. Thank you !!!:happy: Daniel has been to a Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) for sexual offenders. My ex husband told dcs about daniel and his sister pretending to have sex. They did not actually do anything / she is still a virgin. I was upset when i discovered them but i remember being curious at that age too. They were punished and given a lecture and separated from then on. Two years later the ex told d.c.s. and they took my two younger children and gave them to the ex. Sent daniel to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for sexual offenders. They concentrated on the aberrant sexual behaivior. He saw a psychiatrist once a week one on one and once a week in group therapy. I dont know how much good it did. Daniel said he learned a lot of things. I just got off the phone with daniel. he wanted his radio. he says he wants to stay at this juvenille facility. He seems happy there. I think maybe it is exactly what he needs. If he is affected by all this abuse he will not feel safe with me no matter who i am with. At the facility he seems to feel safe. He does not have as much depression because there are other kids there that he identifies with. He will not have as much issues in the alternative school because he does better in an alternative learning environment where all the work is classwork. The only unresolved large problem is the anger. That may come out and cause him a problem. If the judge allows him to stay at this facility i will try to request that he see a psychologist too. As for daniel's father he refused to see a psychologist vehemently. He was a man's man who enjoyed the company of other men. He was home maybe two nights a month with his family. the rest of the time he either went "coon hunting" or went to the fire hall to hang out. He had a hero complex. He needed constant affirmation from others. He was abused as a child. He started working when he was nine years old. His family was dirt poor. He would give his shirt off his back to someone else ... and brag about that for the rest of his life. But he would not fix the most dangerous of problems for his own family. For instance a light fixture that was dangling by wires in the children's room (they had bunk beds and could reach out and touch the wires) amongst many other things. i wont bore you with it ALL. When he was home he was angry. If he was angry it was over NOTHING. He was always right, he has never done anything wrong in his life. He feels the need to impress everyone. He flaunts money he does not have. He has to be in total control of everyone and everything. The driving force behind that need is fear. His mother has some kind of serious mental problem. Her father was certifiably nuts and had a bad temper.(understatement) Yeah, something is definately going on in his family. in my family my mother is a very controlling person. I think she might have a disorder. I dont know what it is but whatever it is she is not normal. [/QUOTE]
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