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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 195121" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thanks, Totoro! He's out now- I guess he didn't cheek his medications. I'm going to be pushing for some serious psychoeducation to take place. </p><p></p><p>difficult child was on board with everything until he got relatively stable on medications (he's been taking them, but says he shouldn't have to), then he decided that he didn't need medications- everything was my fault, and all I do is go to tdocs to tell them it's his fault (which is not what I'm doing), so he's tryin to tell them it's all my fault. All I'm trying to do is FIRST find a friggin therapist to explain to this kid that it is nobody's fault that he has mood cycling and he doesn't realize now because he's on medications but that he can (and should) take responsibility for trying to manage the condition and prevent it, etc. I can't believe that after all this time, all they ever want to do is the same ole s**t. Which stirs this up. And I tell them ahead of time. And they still do it. I swear I don't think it's me in denial. My son has an illness, I hope he can learn to manage it. But he'll never learn to manage it until he accepts it. He will never accept it as long as tdocs are leading him to believe that we can negotiate it or that I caused it. I know that isn't the message they intend to send, but it is the way he interprets it- like it justifies what he wants to believe. Mind you, he didn't believe this before he was put on MS's, but I think the medications have him just stable enough for him to think that he doesn't need them and he has no problem- other than me. His best shot of reducing medications and having a life with little or no mood cycling is to get out of this denial and blame and learn strategies to prevent or minimize or nip it in the bud when cycling starts. Going around in circles over my smoking is a waste of time- and you see what it leaves him thinking? And let's keep in mind- when my son gets unstable he does have a little dellusional thinking going on somtimes.</p><p></p><p>Whooooo- that was a vent!! </p><p></p><p>All this came up tonight after I told him I was glad he had his homework done, but he did need to practice trumpet. And after he acted defiant about it i told him to go to his room then, he couldn't waatch tv. And I swear, I thought he was going to kill me tonight. And while he was becoming violent with me- the things above are what I was hearing from him. earlier I said he's only done this once before- then I remebered, it's been twice before. Once was a few months after he learned that his father had chosen not to be in his life (which he later told me he had felt like I set him up by convincing him he was lovable and worth something only to find out that his father didn't think so) and then he got that way earlier this year- I can't remember what triggered that but I posted about it and I think the feedback left me thinking that it was flight or fight. If I didn't have some idea of how the rest of his life would be scr***d, he would have been out of here tonight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 195121, member: 3699"] Thanks, Totoro! He's out now- I guess he didn't cheek his medications. I'm going to be pushing for some serious psychoeducation to take place. difficult child was on board with everything until he got relatively stable on medications (he's been taking them, but says he shouldn't have to), then he decided that he didn't need medications- everything was my fault, and all I do is go to tdocs to tell them it's his fault (which is not what I'm doing), so he's tryin to tell them it's all my fault. All I'm trying to do is FIRST find a friggin therapist to explain to this kid that it is nobody's fault that he has mood cycling and he doesn't realize now because he's on medications but that he can (and should) take responsibility for trying to manage the condition and prevent it, etc. I can't believe that after all this time, all they ever want to do is the same ole s**t. Which stirs this up. And I tell them ahead of time. And they still do it. I swear I don't think it's me in denial. My son has an illness, I hope he can learn to manage it. But he'll never learn to manage it until he accepts it. He will never accept it as long as tdocs are leading him to believe that we can negotiate it or that I caused it. I know that isn't the message they intend to send, but it is the way he interprets it- like it justifies what he wants to believe. Mind you, he didn't believe this before he was put on MS's, but I think the medications have him just stable enough for him to think that he doesn't need them and he has no problem- other than me. His best shot of reducing medications and having a life with little or no mood cycling is to get out of this denial and blame and learn strategies to prevent or minimize or nip it in the bud when cycling starts. Going around in circles over my smoking is a waste of time- and you see what it leaves him thinking? And let's keep in mind- when my son gets unstable he does have a little dellusional thinking going on somtimes. Whooooo- that was a vent!! All this came up tonight after I told him I was glad he had his homework done, but he did need to practice trumpet. And after he acted defiant about it i told him to go to his room then, he couldn't waatch tv. And I swear, I thought he was going to kill me tonight. And while he was becoming violent with me- the things above are what I was hearing from him. earlier I said he's only done this once before- then I remebered, it's been twice before. Once was a few months after he learned that his father had chosen not to be in his life (which he later told me he had felt like I set him up by convincing him he was lovable and worth something only to find out that his father didn't think so) and then he got that way earlier this year- I can't remember what triggered that but I posted about it and I think the feedback left me thinking that it was flight or fight. If I didn't have some idea of how the rest of his life would be scr***d, he would have been out of here tonight. [/QUOTE]
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