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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 675803" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome SnS, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. First, know that you are not alone and you are not a terrible parent. As parents we have all made mistakes but ultimately we all do the very best we can. It is not at all uncommon for an adult child to blame us for their lives not being good.</p><p></p><p>You live in a different country and culture than I do so forgive me if I do misunderstand your customs/culture.</p><p></p><p>If it were me and I found porno material I would collect it all and get it out my house. I make the rules of what comes into my home and that would not be acceptable and I would make that very clear.</p><p></p><p>Your son's depression may be from his sexual identity in that he may be very conflicted about how he feels.</p><p></p><p>What is the legal age of adulthood in your country? If your son is of legal age then you could tell him he has to leave.</p><p></p><p>One of the most important things you need to do is set clear boundaries as to what is acceptable and what is not.</p><p></p><p>You can tell him something like this:</p><p>If you are going to continue to live here then you have to seek help for your depression and take your medication.</p><p>You cannot bring any porno in this home.</p><p>You will speak to us with respect.</p><p></p><p>You get the idea. Unless you have clear boundaries of what you will and won't accept it allows for him to continue doing whatever he wants to.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 675803, member: 18516"] Welcome SnS, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. First, know that you are not alone and you are not a terrible parent. As parents we have all made mistakes but ultimately we all do the very best we can. It is not at all uncommon for an adult child to blame us for their lives not being good. You live in a different country and culture than I do so forgive me if I do misunderstand your customs/culture. If it were me and I found porno material I would collect it all and get it out my house. I make the rules of what comes into my home and that would not be acceptable and I would make that very clear. Your son's depression may be from his sexual identity in that he may be very conflicted about how he feels. What is the legal age of adulthood in your country? If your son is of legal age then you could tell him he has to leave. One of the most important things you need to do is set clear boundaries as to what is acceptable and what is not. You can tell him something like this: If you are going to continue to live here then you have to seek help for your depression and take your medication. You cannot bring any porno in this home. You will speak to us with respect. You get the idea. Unless you have clear boundaries of what you will and won't accept it allows for him to continue doing whatever he wants to. Hang in there!! [/QUOTE]
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